Elaborate on 1 of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience) (150)
My last few sentences were not fluent, cos I am weak at expression. Please help me to refine my essay;)
I was in choir of Crescent Girls' School during Grade 9 and 10. I participated in it initially due to my zest and talent in singing. I was in Soprano One which required me to practice the highest notes and sing louder than other sections. Surprised, I also needed to learn other sections' parts so that we would be synchronized. As a result, I always lost my voice after a practice. The training was really time consuming which occupied me nine hours a week. Although I needed to balance my stressful school work and extracurricular activities, I never considered quitting, as each individual was essential to choir, and carried the responsibility to maintain every song's completeness. Choir not only provided me the opportunity to earn awards and applauses but also taught me the importance of coordination; knowing and capable of suiting other people's part with mine is essential when working as a team.
My last few sentences were not fluent, cos I am weak at expression. Please help me to refine my essay;)
I was in choir of Crescent Girls' School during Grade 9 and 10. I participated in it initially due to my zest and talent in singing. I was in Soprano One which required me to practice the highest notes and sing louder than other sections. Surprised, I also needed to learn other sections' parts so that we would be synchronized. As a result, I always lost my voice after a practice. The training was really time consuming which occupied me nine hours a week. Although I needed to balance my stressful school work and extracurricular activities, I never considered quitting, as each individual was essential to choir, and carried the responsibility to maintain every song's completeness. Choir not only provided me the opportunity to earn awards and applauses but also taught me the importance of coordination; knowing and capable of suiting other people's part with mine is essential when working as a team.