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Common app elaborate one of your activities- my volleyball life



prl 5 / 3  
Dec 20, 2008   #1
I have played been a part of several clubs, met different types of people and savored every moment of my volleyball life. I have experienced great losses but also notable victories. I have learned to take risks while staying and also calm. I have learned to work as a team and also improve my individual skills. Apart from developing my technical skills, playing volleyball has undeniably affected my personality. All the tiring practices and endless matches have made me more ambitious, disciplined and focused on my goals. I have learned to allocate my time properly for my studies and also other activities like playing volleyball, acting and debating. Most importantly, I have learned that nothing is earned without struggle and I have to work hard to earn the success I aspired in my future endeavors.

tiffanyh5849 4 / 11  
Dec 20, 2008   #2
Hi- I just noticed a few errors:

"I have played been a part of several clubs, met different types of people and savored every moment of my volleyball life."
- I think you meant to say "I have been a part of several clubs.."

"I have learned to take risks while staying and also calm."
- I think it's "..while staying calm."

"Most importantly, I have learned that nothing is earned without struggle and I have to work hard to earn the success I aspired in my future endeavors."

- "..earn the success I aspire in my future endeavors."

Other than that, I think you did a good job elaborating on your activity and showing how it changed you. Good job!


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