Common App Extracurricular Short Answer (varsity sports and various clubs)

Comments on grammatical errors and how to improve my piece would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Throughout my high school career I have participated in many extracurricular activities such as varsity sports and various clubs that my school has to offer. One of my activities in particular that has made a significant impact on my personal development was my experience playing on the football team for all four years of my high school attendance. During my years as a high school student, football has taught me many lessons which I will carry on throughout the rest of my life. Not only did football strengthen me physically but it also had taught me how to be discipline, how to work together on a team, and most importantly about commitment. What I remember most about playing football was the overwhelming amounts of time, effort, and hard work that I had put into the sport. To me football was not just an activity or game, it was a passion.

Throughout my high school career I have participated in many extracurricular activities, such as varsity sports and various clubs from my school. (that my school has to offer - seems a bit wordy to me.)

Not only did football strengthen me physically, but it also had taught me how to be disciplined, how to work together on a team, and, most importantly, how to be commited until the very end.

Good job overall.
Hope these corrections help!

Good Luck!

Throughout my high school career, I have participated in many extracurricular activities such as varsity sports and various clubs that my school has to offer.

One of my activities in particular, that has made a significant impact on my personal development, was my experience playing on the football team for all four years of my high school attendance.

Not only did football strengthen me physically, but it also had taught me how to be disciplined , how to work together as a team, and most importantly, it has taught me about commitment.

What I remember most about playing football was the overwhelming amount of time, effort, and hard work that I had put into the sport. To me football was not just an activity or game, it was a passion.

Hope this helps!!

Good luck in school:)

When writing, try to be as concise as possible. For instance: "During my years as a high school student, football has taught me many lessons which I will carry on throughout the rest of my life" could be rewritten as "Playing high school football has taught me many enduring lessons." Which is only 10 words instead of 25, yet says the exact same thing.

I think if you add a specefic example, it will be more convincing. Good luck!