Common App gap year essay (250 words)

why I took gap year?

I have to write the reason why I took gap year. So, I wrote it down. I need some feedback!

Why I got to take a gap year is I was rejected from all Korean colleges I applied last year. In my country, Korea, the vast majority of people tend to think there is no other way than getting into top-tier college for their bright future. Hence, most students taking gap year seem to think they have no choice but to study for the college scholastic ability test again regardless of their will. This fact made me feel confused because I wanted to do something untraditional. To ride out this storm, however, I decided not to listen to others.

Early this year I took a long trip for the first time to Russia to break the limitation of myself. It was difficult to manage a budget, make a plan without someone's help. Nevertheless, I believed I can do anything under the sun. I started solving independently small and big problems. Through this process, I not only felt a strong sense of accomplishment but got to know who I am. For example, it let me know I have an ability to read 2 thick books within 3 days on the Trans-Siberian Express where the phone isn't available. Also, I could realize I'm a very strong person who can enjoy loneliness and boredom.

Besides, I did countless activities such as doing miracle morning, improving English skills, participating in film festivals, etc. These activities help me love myself. Thus, I never regret taking a gap year and spending my precious time like this.

This is only a draft of the presentation. You merely enumerated the reason and what you did during the year. You need to create a more creative 250 word presentation. Explain why you think you were not accepted into the universities. How does that relate to your decision to travel to Russia? Be more informative about how the gap year further prepared you for college requirements. Explain with clarity why you now feel more prepared to attend college. Take a more serious and academic tone. At the moment, you are discussing this as if you are talking to one of your friends. You are addressing the admissions reviewer and potentially, the admissions committee. Therefore the respectful academic tone should be observed in your writing.

@Holt Thank you for your advice!