Common App - Short Essay (Yoga)

I don't really like my opening, and I'm not really sure if this is the kind of essay they're looking for. Let me know what you think, please. =]

Although I participate in an abundance of stimulating extra-curricular activities, there is none that I enjoy more than my weekly yoga class. I first began yoga in 4th grade, and immediately fell in love with it. My fondness for the practice stems not only from my natural skill in it, but also the numerous things it has given me.

Through yoga, I am able to release my everyday stress in a healthy manner, which has strengthened my body, my mind, and my overall well-being. With each downward dog, each "namaste", each meditation, I develop a closer connection with myself. Yoga class is the one time each week when I can truly separate myself from the world around me and concentrate on my needs.

The word "Abundance" doesn't work. Perhaps - "a number of" would sound better - as in - ALthough I participate in a number of ...


Would read better if - which has strengthened my body and mind and improved my overall well being.
Also what is a "dog" in Yoga?

The rest seems fine. Is this the short answer for common application - activity? You could start directly by describing what Yoga does for you and end with the first sentence.

As in - Yoga is the one activity which helps me seperate myself from the world and its material concerns and concentrate on my inner spiritual and mental needs.

"Abundance" is OK; it's just wrongly placed in the sentence. Another word would be better though. I don't like the wordy "a/an ... of" construction. Why not simply say "numerous" and be done with it?

Downward dog is a position. Should I eliminate that so I don't confuse people?

Other aspects of your application will show this. Don't use up your valuable space reiterating!

Not bad overall, it could use some spicier words.
I don't know much about yoga but I know about the downward dog position.
So, that one is really up to your preference.

I actually do not like the first sentence, at all.
I think that if it is removed, then the essay gets straight to the point and flows better.

try talking about what you would like to do with yoga in the future

I guess those who know something about Yoga would know about the dog, but then it's not necessary that all those reading the essay would know about it. So perhaps you should change it.

Yoga Workshop; BE PATIENT, EVALUATE YOUR RESULTS

As you get better at a particular aspect while running your workshop, you'll be able to do it faster, but in the beginning, it takes time. Be patient, evaluate your results and make changes as needed. Keep one thing in mind, if your yoga workshop doesn't make money, it won't be around to help anyone in the future. Keep it profitable.