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Common Application Essay! Leave commnets and edits! Topic of your choice.



Shoko0229 4 / 14  
Nov 4, 2012   #1
Topic: Topic of your choice.

I am proud of my love of learning. I have been learning academically and mundanely since I was born, and have come to know tremendous interesting facts, which direct and enrich my current and future life. Learning is what I cherish the most in life, and therefore I am confident about my original thought towards learning.

Learning is like a baby. A baby is joy itself. When a stork finally brings the long-awaited pleasant gift, everyone is inevitably gleeful. Mother is filled with relief and delight of having accomplished a major event in life with ineffably deep affection to the fresh entity to which she devotes herself since then. Father cannot help appreciating his wife for having managed to create their treasure, with the realization of getting another purpose in his life. The gift from God makes people around him joyful without any reason; it is a human instinct to be happy when a baby is born.

Learning has the same wondrous ability. While it can be from trivial to astonishing, any learning is a significant occurrence. It regularly causes certain revolution in one's perspective and personality by informing one of something unfamiliar, bringing about an unhackneyed view. It can also serve as a subject of life-long dedication. Absorption to something fills a life with hope and future, as it constantly provides something to tackle seriously. Furthermore, it engenders admiration to the past wisdom and creates a serene, deep emotion in one's mind apart from busy, quotidian reality. With these positive feelings, one imperatively experiences the joy of learning, and cannot but to hope to experience this comfortable emotional condition again and again; it is human instinct to be happy when learning comes about.

Just as parenting requires responsibility for watching for and raising the child until his maturity, learning imposes on one to take responsibility for contributing to the social good with the gained knowledge. Whether the forms of utilization can be direct usage of informing what one has learned and sharing the joy with others, or its practical application to the real world, this duty is not a light load at all. However, just as the moving growth of the baby apparently surpasses the difficulty of plenty of work to be done to complete the obligation, the pleasantness of learning and fulfilling the responsibility is much more significant and marvelous than the painstaking process of social and natural duty. The most appeal of childrearing comes from its heavy responsibility. Likewise, the fascination of learning is maximized with its hard mission, rather than vitiated by it.

Learning is originally something that makes a life affluent and worth living like a baby. But, these days, fewer people are aware of this nature of learning as opportunities for study to become more insignificant. All the more for this recent blunt perception of learning, I am confident about my notion of learning, and would like to love learning properly for all my life.

ThePirateKing 3 / 6  
Nov 4, 2012   #2
"I am proud of my love of learning. I have been learning academically and mundanely since I was born, and have come to know numeroustremendous interesting facts, which direct and enrich my current and future life. Learning is what I cherish the most in life, and therefore I am confident about my original thought towards learning ."

Seems really repetitive and wordy. I'd think about simplifying it a little bit. Maybe include one or two interesting facts you learned. Maybe change the entire intro to something like "A giraffe can go longer without water than a camel with a full hump. You'd never have guessed so, but thanks to the education I'm so thankful for I know this and numerous other interesting facts. I love to learn and I'm proud of it. Without learning I would be nowhere... etc etc,"

Be really careful with you repetition and wordiness. Really cute it down and simplify it. It seems so so so long and just the same ideas repeated.
OP Shoko0229 4 / 14  
Nov 5, 2012   #3
Thank you for your advice. Intro is always a problem for me... I'll think about it.
What about other parts of the essay and the content?
StephR 4 / 14  
Nov 22, 2012   #4
Its really good and a great metaphor, but it gets kind of confusing because of all that detail you put into it. i would read it out loud to myself and see if you can fix like some grammar mistakes or reword some sentences to make it more clear


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