Hi, I am applying as a transfer student to Pitt. Any advice would be appreciated.
Instructions
If you have been out of school for a period of time, submit a personal statement that addresses your life experiences since your last enrollment as a student. What events in your personal life, military background, or your work history have led you to reconsider completion of your degree as a priority? Providing details about your history, combined with your academic intent, will help the admissions committee make the best assessment possible and will help you achieve your goal.
My Essay
After two semesters at the ***** I knew that it wasn't where I wanted to complete my degree. *** is a technical college; and with the school's focus on the technical aspect of its curriculum understandably, more academic, theoretical classes, which are of particular interest to me, take a hit. I made the decision to take some time away from college and when I came back to find a college that can present more intellectual provocation, and opportunities.
Initially, I spent my extra free time continuing to work for our families online retail business, and overnight truck runs for a small local grocery chain. My work for the family business varied widely; there were modifications, upgrades and troubleshooting of the websites, including a complex add-on that I created to synchronize the inventory between our website and our eBay store. I created and optimized extensive advertising campaigns with Google Adwords, Microsoft AdCenter and Yahoo Search Marketing as well as smaller campaigns with services such as ShopWiki, NexTag and TheFind.com. I also helped with Customer Service by phone and email and occasionally lent a hand with the shipping.
In February 2009 I decided to head north to visit the Hutterite Colony where I was born and raised until the age of four. The Hutterites are a religious group whose roots trace back through Russia and Moravia to German in the early 1500s. To this day they live together in a communal setting, as they have for almost 5 centuries. Each colony contains between seventy and one hundred and fifty people who pool their resources and live, eat, and work together. Everyone is assigned work based on their ability and resources are distributed as needed. All meals and many other activities are conducted communally.
During my year and a half there I worked in the colony's state of the art metal fabrication shop, where they produce a line of hog equipment and complete other custom metal work. I operated most of the machinery in the shop including a computerized power shear, punch press, milling machine, welders and an extended stint on the computerized 90 ton hydraulic press brake. I also attended two trade shows, one as an exhibitor to the World Pork Expo in Des Moines, Iowa; and a second in my capacity as brake operator to the FabTech Expo in Chicago, Illinois, which is North America's largest metal fabrication and welding event.
The colony also is the center of 6,000 acre farm, so I pitched in on communal projects such as clearing logs and rocks from the fields after a historic spring flood, butchering more than 20,000 chickens and numerous landscaping projects around the colony.
In the year and a half I visited I was privileged to attend a Hutterite funeral, baptism and several weddings, all with a unique cultural touch. I participated in a variety of sports with the other young people: volleyball, soccer, baseball, floor hockey, wakeboarding, and most importantly ice hockey. My limited hockey experience made me the butt of plenty of jokes and the recipient of plenty of slams into the boards, especially in the first few games, but I did slowly improve to the point where I scored the occasional goal.
Immersing myself in Hutterite life was an incredibly experience, I was introduced to a radically different way of living and looking at the world. I learned firsthand my own cultural history, and added countless new skills to my repertoire. And last but no least I made a new set of great friends.
I returned home in June of this year to help move our home and business. Our new property was once a summer camp and includes several old buildings that have one thing in common, they all need a lot of work. We have been renovating: pouring concrete, installing a property wide heating system, digging drainage ditches, replacing breaker panels and installing a new network and phone system to cover all the buildings. Between the work on the property and keeping the business running it has been a hectic few months!
Ever since I stopped school I have been looking for a college that fits me, I can honestly say that Pitt is my very first choice, expensive private schools are not an option for me, I don't want to graduate with a huge debt. I was considering Penn State and Temple, because the both are a fairly good fit for me financially and academically. I have actually been accepted at Penn State, however from what I gather the atmosphere at both schools is not what I am looking for. I love the city of Pittsburgh and the campuses location in Pittsburgh. Pitt has a wide variety of highly regarded majors including an extremely strong Bioengineering department at the Swanson School of Engineering, a field that I am very interested in and would like to pursue. I believe that my strong academics and unique personal background will make me a great fit at the University of Pittsburgh. Thank you for your consideration.
Instructions
If you have been out of school for a period of time, submit a personal statement that addresses your life experiences since your last enrollment as a student. What events in your personal life, military background, or your work history have led you to reconsider completion of your degree as a priority? Providing details about your history, combined with your academic intent, will help the admissions committee make the best assessment possible and will help you achieve your goal.
My Essay
After two semesters at the ***** I knew that it wasn't where I wanted to complete my degree. *** is a technical college; and with the school's focus on the technical aspect of its curriculum understandably, more academic, theoretical classes, which are of particular interest to me, take a hit. I made the decision to take some time away from college and when I came back to find a college that can present more intellectual provocation, and opportunities.
Initially, I spent my extra free time continuing to work for our families online retail business, and overnight truck runs for a small local grocery chain. My work for the family business varied widely; there were modifications, upgrades and troubleshooting of the websites, including a complex add-on that I created to synchronize the inventory between our website and our eBay store. I created and optimized extensive advertising campaigns with Google Adwords, Microsoft AdCenter and Yahoo Search Marketing as well as smaller campaigns with services such as ShopWiki, NexTag and TheFind.com. I also helped with Customer Service by phone and email and occasionally lent a hand with the shipping.
In February 2009 I decided to head north to visit the Hutterite Colony where I was born and raised until the age of four. The Hutterites are a religious group whose roots trace back through Russia and Moravia to German in the early 1500s. To this day they live together in a communal setting, as they have for almost 5 centuries. Each colony contains between seventy and one hundred and fifty people who pool their resources and live, eat, and work together. Everyone is assigned work based on their ability and resources are distributed as needed. All meals and many other activities are conducted communally.
During my year and a half there I worked in the colony's state of the art metal fabrication shop, where they produce a line of hog equipment and complete other custom metal work. I operated most of the machinery in the shop including a computerized power shear, punch press, milling machine, welders and an extended stint on the computerized 90 ton hydraulic press brake. I also attended two trade shows, one as an exhibitor to the World Pork Expo in Des Moines, Iowa; and a second in my capacity as brake operator to the FabTech Expo in Chicago, Illinois, which is North America's largest metal fabrication and welding event.
The colony also is the center of 6,000 acre farm, so I pitched in on communal projects such as clearing logs and rocks from the fields after a historic spring flood, butchering more than 20,000 chickens and numerous landscaping projects around the colony.
In the year and a half I visited I was privileged to attend a Hutterite funeral, baptism and several weddings, all with a unique cultural touch. I participated in a variety of sports with the other young people: volleyball, soccer, baseball, floor hockey, wakeboarding, and most importantly ice hockey. My limited hockey experience made me the butt of plenty of jokes and the recipient of plenty of slams into the boards, especially in the first few games, but I did slowly improve to the point where I scored the occasional goal.
Immersing myself in Hutterite life was an incredibly experience, I was introduced to a radically different way of living and looking at the world. I learned firsthand my own cultural history, and added countless new skills to my repertoire. And last but no least I made a new set of great friends.
I returned home in June of this year to help move our home and business. Our new property was once a summer camp and includes several old buildings that have one thing in common, they all need a lot of work. We have been renovating: pouring concrete, installing a property wide heating system, digging drainage ditches, replacing breaker panels and installing a new network and phone system to cover all the buildings. Between the work on the property and keeping the business running it has been a hectic few months!
Ever since I stopped school I have been looking for a college that fits me, I can honestly say that Pitt is my very first choice, expensive private schools are not an option for me, I don't want to graduate with a huge debt. I was considering Penn State and Temple, because the both are a fairly good fit for me financially and academically. I have actually been accepted at Penn State, however from what I gather the atmosphere at both schools is not what I am looking for. I love the city of Pittsburgh and the campuses location in Pittsburgh. Pitt has a wide variety of highly regarded majors including an extremely strong Bioengineering department at the Swanson School of Engineering, a field that I am very interested in and would like to pursue. I believe that my strong academics and unique personal background will make me a great fit at the University of Pittsburgh. Thank you for your consideration.