Prompt:What work of art, music, science, mathematics, or literature has surprised, unsettled, or challenged you, and in what way?
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During the mid 1900's the civil rights movement was in full throttle and it was as if the whole country was holding its breath because of the uncertainty of the future. Sam Cooke's "A change is gonna come" is not only number twelve on Rolling Stone's 500 Greatest Songs of All Time but it was meant to be an inspiring song for struggling African Americans. Lyrics such as "then I go to my brother, and I say brother help me please. But he winds up knocking me back down on my knees" portrays how the African Americans reached out for the help and support of other citizens but instead of a helping hand received a cold shoulder. This surprised me because even though we learn about the civil right's movement we don't get the sense of all the pain and frustration that many African Americans went through and Mr. Cooke's voice conveys this with great pathos.
I had an immediate connection with the song due to a personal experience of being treated differently because of my ethnicity. Being from a very diverse high school I was lead to believe that racism was mostly a thing of the past, but I was soon corrected. During my freshman year my soccer team traveled to a distant, unheard of high school in the western part of Virginia. As the game began tension began to surface, the opposing team, which wasn't nearly as diverse, began throwing out racial slurs. Comments such as "You're in America now speak English!" were said. I was appalled at what I was hearing; I simply couldn't believe how teenagers just like me could be so cruel for no reason other than the difference of skin tone. Therefore, when I heard the words " It's been a long, a long time coming but I know a change gon' come" I knew that the long sought after change was still in progress and that it was up to the every generation to continues to get rid of the ignorance of the past.
As the game began tension began to surface
Began is repetitive. try phrasing it differently mayb tension
boiled to the surface or tension
eruptedThe first and second sentence doesnt really connect; it was more like 1 statement to the next. try using transition word
best of luck!
read my gwu essays plz. thx!
the difference in skin tone
Being in a very diverse high school,
we didn't get the sense of all the pain and frustration that many African Americans went through, and Mr. Cooke's voice conveys this with great pathos.
found a few more minor errors but thats about it. its a really good essay
if u haven't crossed the word/character limit, plz try to put an introduction sort of line as the first sentence. it seems like u have straightaway dived into the topic. although its specific, an introductory line can add to ur essay's pull. btw the essay is a really good one...personal and connecting...good luck...
