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'A country with economical discrepancy' - UC PERSONAL STATEMENT 1



cellaagung 1 / -  
Nov 25, 2013   #1
UC1: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Spending my summer break this year in the United States of America for two weeks made me realize how well developed the States are. Therefore, when I came back to my country, Indonesia, I found most things rather backward, either the technology or the education.

What really stuck in my mind about the United States was the organized infrastructure and how well the technology had been developed for everyone's comfort. I really enjoyed observing how Americans are aware of what the minority and the disable need. Unlike a developing country, particularly Indonesia, in America, the poor, weak, and disabled are supported. For example, grocery stores in America have a special costumer wheelchair for elderly people; even at parking lots, the disabled have their own spots. On the other hand, I'm sorry to say, most Indonesians do not even want to give up their seats for elderly people when they are travelling by public transportation and there are limited facilities for the disabled.

Not even an hour had passed since I got back to Semarang, my hometown, when the underdeveloped conditions of the local airport shocked me in comparison to LAX. The sound of children and elderly people begging for money forced me to return to the cold, harsh reality that I was indeed already back to my third world country, Indonesia. Indonesians can be "creative" in many aspects of life-For example, a single traffic light can be used as a source of money for three to ten people begging.

My mind wonders endlessly why such a prosperous country should have such a pitiful standard of life. Indonesia has all kinds of natural resources; its exotic fruits, exquisite faunas, marvelous places to visit (such as Borobudur temple and Bali), and also its conventional yet extraordinary cultural diversity. It did not take too long for me to realize Indonesia's great potential and how all the time we have been throwing away time, money, and energy for nonproductive activities. I feel sorry for my own country, yet furious with Indonesian leaders. But most of all, I am disappointed with myself for letting this obnoxious phenomenon happen. Therefore, I am anxious to maximize my learning during my time at the university in America. Hopefully then, I will be able to use it for the benefit of Indonesia.

Living in a country with economical discrepancy, where there is a huge gap between the rich and poor really upsets me. But somehow, this cultural difference enriches me with the knowledge of life itself. I am now aware of the meaning of love; to love is to share. One should not be selfish and always ask for more, but instead gives more to others. If one keeps asking and not giving, and the other person is acting the same, then neither of them would get anything. However, if one actually enjoys giving to others sincerely, and so does the other person, then both of them will have everything under control. And above all, they will know that love still exist. To be able to give is the greatest reward of all. My most touching experience is when my maid had financial difficulties to afford her child's tuition fee. I was 7 years old back then and decided to help her by giving some of my lunch money anonymously. I did it by putting unanimous envelope at her room. Since at a very young age, I am aware of my privileged position in Indonesia because of my family's financial situation. I do not want to and I will not be selfish by shutting myself up and living my life prosperously in Indonesia, while the world keeps struggling to survive. I want to make a significant difference. I am blessed and able to afford to study in the United States, so I will do my best and learn well to contribute more to humankind.

SilverKnight 15 / 55  
Nov 25, 2013   #2
I would like to say that this is well written. However, there is one minor problem. At certain points you need to add a little more "show" writing in place of your "tell" writing. Doing so allow the reader to get a clearer picture of what you saw and experienced.

Of course, this is just a suggestion about a minor issue and you are absolutely welcome to disregard anything I have just said.
dumi 1 / 6793  
Nov 27, 2013   #3
Spending my summer break this year in the United States of America for two weeks made me realize how well developed the States are.USA is.
[quote=cellaagung]Spending my summer break this year in the United States of America for two weeks made me realize how well developed the States are. Therefore, when I came back to my country, Indonesia, I found most things rather backward, either the technology or the education.

Well ... I think you need to make use of every word you write here to make your response meaningful. I find what you've said above does not contribute to any value addition to this response. You are supposed to write about the WORLD you come from - Where is it that you truly live? What really makes up your "world"? .... So, I don't understand why you included this sort of comparison.


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