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Courses/Outing Club/Low student-faculty ratio; Vassar Supp/ Why Vassar?



klv94 1 / -  
Dec 26, 2012   #1
Hello. Here is my essay.

"Hey, you got a really big and heavy package yesterday. It's like 7-8 kilos!" said mom while driving me home from the airport. As we arrived, I eagerly opened the box to discover the numerous handbooks I had ordered weeks before. Few days later, I had already started to make a list of possible options: from the thousands of institutions presented, I underlined a few dozen. By the next week, there were only 18 contenders left at the starting line of my college life.

As I began to spend days informing myself about each institution individually, I couldn't help but be impressed by the things I learned about Vassar. What made it become one of my top choices was the offered major in Science, Technology & Society. As I was reading through the program description, the words of Steve Jobs describing Apple went through my head: "where Humanities meet the Sciences". The ability to study technology from such diverse perspectives intrigued me. I immediately imagined myself ten - fifteen years from now, working for my favorite computer company.

But college isn't all about courses, but also about the different on-campus organizations and clubs that are meant to diversify the interests of students, while also getting them involved in resolving different issues of the society. As happy as I was to learn about the photography courses offered by Phocus, about Vassar Filmmakers, and about the skydiving activities offered by the Outing Club, I just couldn't contain my excitement when I read about PEACE's Brothers and Sisters program. Being part of this project would surely be my favorite pastime, as I am truly passionate about working with children. Moreover, I feel I would be able to stand out in my work by relating to my own international student exchange experiences from middle school.

All these things, coupled with the excellent study away programs, low student - faculty ratio, and the wonderful words current students say about Vassar, made me realize that I would spend the best four years of my life in Poughkeepsie, as one of your students.

Any suggestions? Thanks!

StephR 4 / 14  
Dec 26, 2012   #2
i would reword "But college isn't all about courses, but also about the different on-campus organizations and clubs that are meant to diversify the interests of students, while also getting them involved in resolving different issues of the society."

maybe like "But college isn't all about courses, it is also about ...
br2pi5 10 / 70  
Dec 26, 2012   #3
I really like it. By saying things like 'as one of your students' you connect with the reader and that will definitely help you. I also like that you don't just talk about general things that offers Vassar, or any other university, but concentrate on specific programs they offer and relate them to you. Good job! :) If you had a moment, could you please read my common app essay? It would really mean a lot.
orlaendoe 1 / 1  
Dec 26, 2012   #4
Hi, So I am really confused about the 500 character limit. Really, they must be kidding. But I am just wondering if I could submit an essay with around 650 words, since other people have similar sized essays...does anyone have definite clarification on this?


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