In 250 words or more, explain why you would like to transfer:
This is my first draft, any help is appreciated.
For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to pursue a career in business. I cannot picture myself doing anything else; the concepts of business have always come naturally to me. In high school, I took every business class that Westford Academy offered. Outside of class, I joined the DECA business club, and ended up placing first in the state competition with my partner. Creating a marketing plan brings me as much joy as any video game or sporting event; I was meant to be in business.
Going to Los Angeles City College was an attempt to save money on going to school out of state. The plan was to attend LACC for two years and then transfer to a UC or CSU, thus saving tens of thousands of dollars in out of state tuition costs. Although I was accepted to the Isenberg School of Management at UMass, I viewed this as an opportunity to see another part of the country. What I did not take into account was the conditions I would face at LACC. While I do enjoy the city environment to an extent, as well as many of the people who attend, it became clear that LACC was not right for me. Academically speaking, many courses are basic in comparison to comparable courses at Amherst. Personally, I need a challenge to stimulate my learning. Amherst offers one of the best business programs in the country, and, after talking to students who attend Amherst, would offer the sort of academic stimulation I require.
I spent months debating whether to attend the University of Massachusetts at Amherst. On top of being ranked among the top 100 business programs and often receiving awards from the Princeton Review, it offers specialized courses in a wide variety of areas to develop a career-oriented expertise. Having visited Amherst, I also was impressed by the campus and the library. And although I chose LACC in order to experience a different part of the country, Amherst offers options to study abroad over the summer, should I still desire to see other parts of the world. Overall, Amherst offers greater opportunities in the way of academics and preparing me for the business world.
I wanted to see and live in a different part of the country, and I dismissed the idea that such a drastic transition would be smooth. It turns out moving from small town Pepperell Massachusetts to a predominately Spanish speaking neighborhood in central Los Angeles is not an easy transition. Living on my own is not the issue. I have proven that I can do what it takes to live on my own and survive. However, LACC does not offer many compelling extra-curricular activities, and free time consists mostly of running errands and doing chores. Amherst offers a wide degree of student organizations in which I have interest, such as the Food and Beverage Management Association and the Wrestling intramural sports club. Participating in school organizations offers opportunities to make connections with people my own age who are interested in the same things as me.
Sometimes in life you have to experience things for yourself to truly understand and appreciate them. There is no denying that I have learned a lot in Los Angeles, and that I have gained experience living on my own in the big city that many of my friends will not experience for years to come. However, to secure satisfaction in my academics and happiness in my activities outside of the classroom, I believe that the University of Massachusetts at Amherst is the right place for me.
Going toEnrolling at Los Angeles City College was an attempt to save money on going to school out of state.
Academically speaking, many courses are basic, in comparison to comparable courses at Amherst.
It turns out that moving from the small town of Pepperell Massachusetts---(hey, do you know Ian Gray?)
---to a predominately Spanish speaking neighborhood in central Los Angeles was not an easy transition.
Living on my own was not the issue.
Amherst offers a wide variety of student organizations in which I have interest, such as the Food and Beverage Management Association and the Wrestling intramural sports club.
Participating in school organizations offers opportunities to make connections with people my own age who are interested in the same things as I am .
Your essay is excellent, very well written and interesting. It sounds as if UMass will be lucky to have you as a student! Amherst is such a great college town, and close to Northhampton, which also is full of college students and book stores, hippies and fun...my daughter is a student at UMass too. Good luck in school and have fun! If you do know Ian, it's funny what a small world it is!
:)
Thank you very much, your help is greatly appreciated. Unfortunately I do not know Ian, although its very possible that I know someone who does considering how small Pepperell is. I have an extremely good chance on being accepted to Amherst considering I was accepted for this fall semester (words straight from the office of undergraduate admissions), but I really wanted to make sure I had a solid essay. Thanks again and I'll ask around about Ian.
