'my cute 8 month old younger sister' - something you do for the pleasure of it

Jan 1, 2012 #1

We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (*)(100 words or fewer)

I love being with or thinking about my cute 8 month old younger sister. In the past times, I usually spent most of my time at school, enrolling in many activities. But now I hurry to my home because of that little creature. No matter how stressed, depressed or tired I am, she always makes me feel energized and happy. Day to day, she grows and learns new things. She now learned little tricks and sheds crocodile tears to get my attention. Her big eyes, scrubby hair, tiny hands, two little teeth and everything is adorable. She always fills me with joy

pringles 6 / 36

Jan 1, 2012 #2

hmm this prompt usually refers to a certain activity or hobby you have. Interesting take on it
The essay sounds just fine, it's only 100 words so i understand it's really hard to stand out in this category.
However there are a few grammatical errors

I love being with ~~or thinking about (unnecessary)~~ my cute 8 month old younger (should be implied considering your applying for college) sister. In the past ~~times~~, I usually spent most of my time at school, enrolling in many activities, but now I hurry ~~to my~~ home because of that little creature. No matter how stressed, depressed or tired I am, she always makes me feel energized and happy. Day to day, she grows and learns new things. She now (replace with "just" or something like that) learned little tricks(like?) and sheds crocodile tears to get my attention. Her big eyes, scrubby hair, tiny hands, two little teeth and everything is adorable(<-doesn't make sense really, revise) . She always fills me with joy

Anxhela 6 / 28

Jan 1, 2012 #3

I don't think it answers the prompt..
You should talk about something you do for pleasure and spending your time with a sister is something everyone likes to do,,
I think you should talk about a hobby or activity that you don't do because you are forced but just because you like doing it.For example reading a book..