Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and asp
Denying where you come from
I have dreams, dreams I know will come true. I don't know my career plans. However, I do know I want a brighter future than what my parents have had. My parents have taught me the meaning of culture and traditions and to never be embarrassed by my roots. Everywhere I go I take my history, my music and most importantly respect for my person.
Why do people feel ashamed of their roots? When in reality, thanks to our cultural diversity you are who you are. Teenagers today deny their roots and that is becoming an issue within the Hispanic and Latino society. Hispanic and Latino teens are forgetting their native language, Spanish. Why is this happening? maybe parents are not trying so hard to educate their own kids about cultural education or simply they are just not interested in their background.
One's cultural background plays a major role when one is growing up our roots are our inheritance. Parents may leave properties all over the world, but they are just that, property can just go away. However, culture and traditions remain for a life time. It is the a matter of wanting to know where you come from and what makes you a unique person. All people have the capability of learning where he or she comes from. Sources include the internet, a library. In my case, uncle Alberto tells me to inform myself about my historical background, and I do. I feel the necessity of knowing what my history carries. My heart relishes my history to stay alive because my children and the children of my children need to know where their origins initiated.
Fortunately, I have two parents who send me to Mexico twice a year. There I can see my peoples' traditions, and I seem to enjoy every second of it. Even though it is a place of poverty, there I have learned that my heart needs and feels the desire of helping my mothers village. The village she left when she was only 15 years of age. A place she now misses at every instant, a place she had to abandon due to my grandfather having a facial stroke. As I grew up my mother told me all of the obstacles she had to go through in order to get a job as a nanny. She was forced by necessity to lie about her age. Coming to the land of opportunities wasn't an option for her . That is why she mentions to me to get prepared so I won't have to suffer the same consequences she faced at the age of 15.
She tells me "you are like a butterfly who is willing to fly to the top of the tree". However, I need to overcome all of the obstacles that I will have to face while in the process of life. My family members tell me enjoy every opportunity you have since not everyone has the same advantages. I am a Mexican American teenage who is willing to sacrifice every single moment in order to have a better future than what my parents have had.
The m in the first paragraph has to be capitalized. Remember, there can be NO errors in your personal statement. I believe that your essay answers the prompt question, but I feel there is something else you have to add. Try using the words "I" and "my" more often. This is about you. I recommend that you write about a specific moment when you realized that your backround is important to you and then reflect on how it has shaped your goals for the future. For example, write about a specific time you went to Mexico.
In the first paragraph, you might want to change for my person to for myself.
"Teenagers today deny their roots and that is becoming an issue within the Hispanic and Latino society."
Maybe you could try rewriting this sentence so that it can have more flow
One's cultural background plays a major role when one is growing up. Our roots are our inheritance.
Parents may leave properties all over the world, but they are just that, property can just go away.
try rephrasing this sentence. Try to add in a transition between the idea that properties are just properties & that properties can just go away. Replace go away with another word? (disappear/vanish)
The essay addresses the prompt but there are small grammatical errors here and there throughout it.
I agree with mickeymichie on finding a specific example of when your background was important to you.
good job & good luck!
I like it a lot.Try editing your last line. I think that "every single moment" could be changed for something stronger or more specific.
It's well written; you use good syntax and diction.
However, I feel that you seem to deviate from the prompt. It starts like you are writing about the problem's with our society, and then you go on to your story dealing with culture. You need to focus more about you, rather than everyone else. Not only say how you do get to experience your culture, but also how it has shaped you. What have you learned from going to Mexico and studying your history? How have you changed as a person? How has your cultural experiences shaped your dreams and aspirations?
The answer does tell me about you, but in the second to last paragraph you bring up a whole section about your mother. Remember this is a "Personal" statement, bring up how this affects what you want to be and why.
