"the department of Materials Science and engineering" - Why Stanford?

Tell us what makes Stanford a good place for you. (250 v)

I don't know whether after ten years I will be in a laboratory developing new methods of producing carbon nanotubes or in front of 30 high school students teaching them how to add vectors. But I know what I want to study. On a Sunday when I finally have time to watch a movie with my family or learn a new song on the guitar I am still reading about nucleophilic substitution reactions, although I don't have a test in Chemistry for more than a week.

I know that I want to study in the department of Materials Science and engineering and I know that Stanford can offer a first-rate education in this field. I get excited reading about the various research opportunities. The program "Science and Technology at the Nanoscale" caught my interest the most. And reading about the studies of real life issues like Sarah Heilshorn's investigation of clathrin makes me want to be a part of this even more.

What I am looking for in a university are limitless possibilities, and Stanford can offer this. Apart from the excellent academic environment there are so many volunteering opportunities and extracurricular activities available. Stanford is the only university I know that has a windsurfing club and I would love to audition for ensembles like University Singers and Symphonic Chorus.

I feel that I should add something, although I'm not really sure what.
Besides grammatical errors, is it okay?

Thanks for any feedback. ;)

Your intro is good but the second para can be changed a little bit-

I know that I want to study in the department of Materials Science and engineering and I know that Stanford can offer a first-rate education in this field. I get excited reading about the various research opportunities and studies on real life issues like Sarah Heilshorn's investigation of clathrin. So, the program "Science and Technology at the Nanoscale" caught my interest the most and made me want to be a part of this institution/program even more.

If you wrote about teaching a class of college students instead of high school students it may impress them more.

Frankly, I don't like this part. Every one seems to be writing about the extracurricular activities and I bet the admission officers will be tired of reading stuff like this

What I am looking for in a university are limitless possibilities, and Stanford can offer this. Apart from the excellent academic environment there are so many volunteering opportunities and extracurricular activities available. Stanford is the only university I know that has a windsurfing club and I would love to audition for ensembles like University Singers and Symphonic Chorus.

Try to find something different about Stanford and relate to the field you want to explore. Let it seem as though there is no other college that can provide you with what you need and I think you will be accepted that way. Try to be different.