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UC#1 Descrbing the world you come from and aspiration: My new life in America


dd9679 4 / 6  
Sep 17, 2011   #1
I would be greatly appreciate it if anyone could help revise and leave a commentary for further correction. I am not describing my dream and aspiration...

As a jolly child living in a country so indigenous, the inevitable aspect of my life was moving to a country that is more than 2000 miles away. I had to reshape myself to be welcomed to the blue eyed children, which was a big leap I had to make. Providing me with both difficulty and benefits, I became a whole new person that I never expected to become; an aspect that derived from independence, optimism, and adaptability.

The biggest impact of moving to a foreign country was making whole new friends who looked very different from me. It was rare for me to come across kids in my age since I was strictly disciplined to stay home and study. Even if I came across them, my uncomfortable nature and inability to socialize made difficult to become fond with each other. Friendship was very important to me when I was in my country, where I was able to beat the feeling of loneliness. Without friends, I had to keep hiding my inner characteristic that I actually possessed. However, the whole experience of loneliness has given me a perspective that independence is important for being responsible.

Another consequence was the whole new system of education system that I had to be adapted to. I lacked the ability to interpret everything into English, when the concept of subjects itself was difficult enough. With my keen speculation of the culture, I realized the lack of understanding of Asians. To break the stereotypes, I had to catch up to the level of English that my peers were in. Every day, I memorized twenty vocabulary words that are frequently used and took it as utility to speak to other students. This rapid progression of nine years gave me the adaptability to comprehend quickly.

The optimism that my incompetent skill will be progress successfully is very crucial for me. I couldn't let the feeling of discouragement to slow down my learning in this new society. The feeling of loneliness was a pain as I wished to be social and do not be afraid to show exactly who I am. I tell myself that the life I live happen for a reason and that I should not take it granted.

I used my three aspects to benefit not only myself, but others as well. Impression from others was very important to me, as it was only way to clearly show who I am. I formed a stable and proficient teamwork, which was important to work with responsibility to own work in sake of others as well. In order to keep a consistent impression, I adapted to the environment quickly in order to feel comfortable; which makes others feel the same.

To be capable of living in the society where independence is very crucial, I knew that it was important to work in my own pace. With my responsibility, I was able to be self-efficient, which was very important to the field of study that I aspire to pursue. And also with my adaptability and flexibility, I was able become quickly accustomed to the society. These qualities gave me a guideline towards a success that I seek to reach.

inaustin 1 / 10  
Sep 18, 2011   #2
I would be greatly appreciate it if anyone could help revise and leave a commentary for further correction. I am not describing my dream and aspiration...

1. appreciated

Providing me with both difficulty and benefits, I became a whole new person that I never expected to become; an aspect that derived from independence, optimism, and adaptability.

1.difficulties

Another consequence was the whole new system of education system that I had to be adapted to.
1.cut clutter. just use new system of education

I tell myself that the life I live happen for a reason and that I should not take it granted.
happens? or exists?

essay about diversity or the pharse to state how to conquer and put through the "alien peroid" to find the feets
is more cliche recently.
but if u can dig into depth and find a concrete instance to tell admission officer ur uniqueness among the pool of smaliar applicants, then u will be standed out.

wish u luck.


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