Unanswered [2]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 2


Difficulties, challenges and adversities - Personal Statement for USC



echoxie 1 / -  
Jan 23, 2010   #1
Thank you for helping me. Look forward to hear from you soon.
Thomas Edison failed many times before successfully inventing the modern electric light bulb. He said, "If I find 10,000 ways something won't work, I haven't failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward." Reflect on a challenge you overcame through persistence:

"ek is lief vir jou..." The African music loudly resonated in the school building, ecstatic and thrilled on multi-cultural South Africa, I continued my way to school wearing an ordinary uniform; that day was Valentine's Day. It was another day of grace. I reached the hall with elation but suddenly turned into astonishment. To my great surprise, everyone was wearing extravagant costumes, every eye was on me, intimidating, despising, with fierce looks penetrated on me. I was scared and I felt an overpowering impulse to run. I ran quickly into the restroom, my sanctuary, where I could be safe. The fear of rejection and forlorn started hitting my whole being, and there again, I have been an insignificant creature in this unfamiliar place.

"Echo..." I was totally flabbergasted by a thundering call. I held my breath while surreptitiously listening to their sarcastic comments. "Chinese are so annoying, lackadaisical and ludicrous creatures". Incensed by their audacity over the Chinese and saddened by their comments, I sobbed silently. I felt responsible for this odious discrimination as I was the only Chinese girl in the campus. What went wrong?

Silence gave me a chance to reflect on some precious moments in my life. Though my parents had only completed secondary school, they strived very hard to ameliorate their lives. Through persistence, my father succeeded after switching twelve different types of jobs. His motivation was fuelled by his ultimate desire, which was a quality and higher education for his siblings. On the surface, everything comes easy to me; I have never gone hungry or had any physical challenges. As the only daughter, my father never failed to help me in every situation or difficulties that I encountered. Awaken by these thoughts, realization came that this prejudice was not caused by a language barrier but the fear of taking risk that was planted in me. I needed a change. Well determined, I got up placidly to leave my "sanctuary" where I hid all my weaknesses. I was ready to move on as my father did.

In front of the restroom mirror, I saw my reflection, scrupulous resolution and confident. The shadow has gone yet I still recall that tears hung up in my eyelids during my first dance class in South Africa. I became a laughing stock. No one wants to watch a short Chinese bamboo, straightly dancing to the rhythm of the wind, left to right...right to left. I knew I had two left feet, a body as hard as a lamp post but I dared not stop expressing the hidden language of my soul; I continued keeping the burning desire for my passion, healing my inner self with confidence and continued believing that "Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time".

"Echo..." an amiable and serene smile was generated as I heard my partner's call for our final performance in dancing. I witnessed the lightening sparks jumping across the gap between our hearts, Chinese and African. I was able to win my predicament. The girl in the restroom started to overcome many inner obstacles in her life. She realized the fact that "The greatest risk is to wait for and depend upon others for your own security." The greatest security is to plan, set goal and act accordingly, taking the risks necessary that will make her independent, joyful and fulfilled.

Difficulties, challenges and adversities come to our life not to obstruct but to instruct. I know that this is tough one to grasp, to be defeated in a competition or even to say good bye to a lover can tear my heart apart and it could cause anger to myself, to the world, with sadness, depression, resentment and other emotional pain, then again, I viewed every situation I would be in as an opportunity for my growth and self-mastery. Having a positive self-image makes me believe that I can achieve my career goal in my life. My commitment, my passion and my energy will help me to achieve higher goals in my life.

EF_Susan - / 2310  
Jan 24, 2010   #2
Here is an idea:
...with elation that suddenly turned into astonishment.

and let's use a semi-colon to fix this run on sentence:

To my great surprise, everyone was wearing extravagant costumes; every eye was on me, intimidating, despising, with fierce looks penetrated on me.

Silence gave me a chance to reflect on some precious moments in my life.----- this is such a great way to transition into backstory! Great job.

I know that this is tough one to grasp; to be defeated in a competition or even to say good bye to a lover can tear my heart apart, and it could cause anger to myself and to the world, with sadness, depression, resentment and other emotional pain. Then again, I viewed every situation I would be in as an opportunity for my growth and self-mastery.


Home / Undergraduate / Difficulties, challenges and adversities - Personal Statement for USC
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳