Hi, I got in the waitlist of UC Davis and I have to write a 200 word essay telling them why I feel UC Davis is the right place for me to continue my education. I wrote my essay and I need some help on it since my English is not very good...
So here's what I wrote:
UC Davis has been the school of my top choice to attend throughout high school, not only because it offers excellent education, but also because it provides me with decent resources to further explore my interest in art. I have developed deep interest in art since I was little, and I dream of becoming a video game artist and contributing to the making of character designs and several other kinds of game art. To improve my artistic skills, I have taken art classes every year in high school, and I have also taken a total of four AP classes this year, including AP Studio Art, to keep challenging myself academically in my senior year. Recently, I have won first place in the PTSA Art Contest in my school and proceeded onto the district and later the state competition, placing second in the state of California; however, I believe I still have lots to learn. I am sure that the resources and facilities at UC Davis, such as the Media and Digital Lab, can help me greater pursue my dream because they provide the necessary equipments for me to develop better skills that are essential for being a successful game artist.
This is exactly 200 words, and any advices and corrections would be appreciated. Thanks for the help!
So here's what I wrote:
UC Davis has been the school of my top choice to attend throughout high school, not only because it offers excellent education, but also because it provides me with decent resources to further explore my interest in art. I have developed deep interest in art since I was little, and I dream of becoming a video game artist and contributing to the making of character designs and several other kinds of game art. To improve my artistic skills, I have taken art classes every year in high school, and I have also taken a total of four AP classes this year, including AP Studio Art, to keep challenging myself academically in my senior year. Recently, I have won first place in the PTSA Art Contest in my school and proceeded onto the district and later the state competition, placing second in the state of California; however, I believe I still have lots to learn. I am sure that the resources and facilities at UC Davis, such as the Media and Digital Lab, can help me greater pursue my dream because they provide the necessary equipments for me to develop better skills that are essential for being a successful game artist.
This is exactly 200 words, and any advices and corrections would be appreciated. Thanks for the help!