Hi all,
I've just drafted my short essay about my dream. I'm not a native English speaker and really need your help on the grammar and vocab to beautify this essay. I really appreciate your help.
I have a dream. I dream that one day I could bring light back to the visually impaired people.
My mother advised me to pursue a medical profession. By heeding to her advice, I would have revisited the safe and conventional path of becoming an ophthalmologist. Instead I was filled with wonder why there had been surgeons who could replace hundreds of lenses in one day but nearly half of the patients develop complications a few weeks after the operation. It had been acknowledged that the incompatibility of the material caused the rejection, making the remedy expensive and risky. I soon turned into the decision to drop Biology and fully focused on Physics, particularly the field of material research. As time went by, my dream has evolved into a pursuit. I determined to be a researcher to find a safer, more reliable material for the lens replacement.
I have studied hard to fulfill it. I won a prestigious scholarship to study overseas and accepted it even though the future held no certainty at that time. The only possession and armor to hardship I carried with me to a foreign land was that dream.
My passion for research kept me going. Despite the full academic workload, the high expectation and the competitive environment, I have never let myself been occupied by grades and assessments. Instead, I took part in a nanomaterial research program at the university. Many long hours were spent in the laboratory. Many weekends were forgone. Many white nights were spent writing report and analysis. Life of a researcher is full of scarification but the experience is immeasurably rewarding. How many of my friends have seen the beauty of nanostructures through the microscope, marveling at how they would bring light to somebody one day?
The journey has not yet come to an end, but neither does it stand completely beyond reach. I am one step closer to my dream. I am applying to UIUC.
An ordinary dream. An unordinary dreamer.
I've just drafted my short essay about my dream. I'm not a native English speaker and really need your help on the grammar and vocab to beautify this essay. I really appreciate your help.
I have a dream. I dream that one day I could bring light back to the visually impaired people.
My mother advised me to pursue a medical profession. By heeding to her advice, I would have revisited the safe and conventional path of becoming an ophthalmologist. Instead I was filled with wonder why there had been surgeons who could replace hundreds of lenses in one day but nearly half of the patients develop complications a few weeks after the operation. It had been acknowledged that the incompatibility of the material caused the rejection, making the remedy expensive and risky. I soon turned into the decision to drop Biology and fully focused on Physics, particularly the field of material research. As time went by, my dream has evolved into a pursuit. I determined to be a researcher to find a safer, more reliable material for the lens replacement.
I have studied hard to fulfill it. I won a prestigious scholarship to study overseas and accepted it even though the future held no certainty at that time. The only possession and armor to hardship I carried with me to a foreign land was that dream.
My passion for research kept me going. Despite the full academic workload, the high expectation and the competitive environment, I have never let myself been occupied by grades and assessments. Instead, I took part in a nanomaterial research program at the university. Many long hours were spent in the laboratory. Many weekends were forgone. Many white nights were spent writing report and analysis. Life of a researcher is full of scarification but the experience is immeasurably rewarding. How many of my friends have seen the beauty of nanostructures through the microscope, marveling at how they would bring light to somebody one day?
The journey has not yet come to an end, but neither does it stand completely beyond reach. I am one step closer to my dream. I am applying to UIUC.
An ordinary dream. An unordinary dreamer.
