In 250 words or more, please tell us why you have chosen the major you've indicated above and your unique qualifications and talents as they relate to that major.
I have learned the importance of education not so long ago. I had been what others would call "the stupid kid." I went to the hospital only a few times in my life, only one that I can remember now; Cooper University Hospital. I came upon this opportunity of going to Cooper Hospital by finding a place to volunteer for. Fortunately, my best friend's mom worked as a computer technician at Cooper, so my friend and I were easily admitted into volunteering.
During my few weeks of volunteering at Cooper, I not only learned the basics of treating patients, but I also found the fundamentals doctor and patient relationships. I found this to be a great bond. I imagined myself as a patient being cared for by a warm, nice and intelligent doctor. Then I thought of the great things I could do if I were a doctor. However, I knew at my current level, dreaming of becoming a doctor was out of my league. I never wanted anything more in my life than to become the doctor I imagined myself as.
For the first time in my life, I had set a goal that I had determination for. After setting my goal, I wrote a list of what I had to achieve in order to obtain the position as a doctor. The first on my list was bringing up my grades. Today, I look back and compare the grades I received in my three years of middle school and my first two years of high school, and my last two years of high school. I am making daily progress and I feel I am getting closer each day. Just recently, I have accomplished one of the tasks in my list; I was accepted into taking the AP Biology course. Although the course has been difficult, I find myself occasionally interacting with the teacher and students around me during lectures. Biology has been a pleasure to have and it has become one of my favorite classes.
The next task on my list is to get accepted into college as Biology major. I feel that if I were an undergraduate at Drexel University, I could further my accomplishments and get to the point where I become a doctor.
After setting my goal, I wrote a list of
I have learned the importance of education not so long ago .
"When I look back and compare the grades I received in my three years of middle school to my grades from high school, i can see that I have been making daily progress. "
where I can become a doctor.
your first paragraph is not clear. what are you trying to say about going to the hospital only a few time in your life? you need to transition that from your first statement about being called "the stupid kid".
i would also take out the part about your best friend's mom becuase it is irrelevant.
I have learned the importance of education not so long ago. [Perhaps, "Not so long ago, I learned the importance of education."] I had been what others would call "the stupid kid." [maybe find a less harsh way of saying this?] I went to the hospital only a few times in my life, only one that I can remember now; Cooper University Hospital. I came upon this opportunity of going to Cooper Hospital by finding a place to volunteer for. Fortunately, my best friend's mom worked as a computer technician at Cooper, so my friend and I were easily admitted into volunteering. [At first when you say, "I went to the hospital only a few times in my life...", it makes it sound like you're going to the hospital 'cause you're hurt. You might want to clear that up? Also, I agree with the above comment about your friend's mom helping you get the job. Not important.]
During my few weeks of volunteering at Cooper, I not only learned the basics of treating patients, but I also foundlearned the importance offundamentals doctor and patient relationships. I found this to be a great bond. I imagined myself as a patient being cared for by a warm, nice and intelligent doctor. Then I thought of the great things I could do if I were a doctor. However, I knew at my current level, dreaming of becoming a doctor was out of my league. I never wanted anything more in my life than to become the doctor I imagined myself as.
For the first time in my life, I had set a goal that I had determination forwas determined to reach. After setting my goal, I wrote a list of what I had to achieve in order to obtain the position as a doctor. The first on my list was bringing up my grades. Today, I look back and compare the grades I received in my three years of middle school and my first two years of high school, and my last two years of high school. I am making daily progress and I feel I am getting closer/better?/improving? each day. Just recently, I have accomplished one of the tasks inon my list; I was accepted into taking the AP Biology course. Although the course has been difficult, I find myself occasionally interacting with the teacher and students around me during lectures. Biology has been a pleasure to havetake and it has become one of my favorite classes.
The next task on my list is to get accepted into college as Biology major. I feel that if I were an undergraduate at Drexel University, I could further my accomplishments and get to the point where I can become a doctor.
Good luck ! (:
Thank you both soo much!
It was not so long ago that I learned the importance of education. I had been what others would call "the stupid kid."Now tell how your volunteering experience caused you to choose this major.I went to the hospital only a few times in my life, only one that I can remember now; Cooper University Hospital. I came upon this opportunity of going to Cooper Hospital by finding a place to volunteer for. Fortunately, my best friend's mom worked as a computer technician at Cooper, so my friend and I were easily admitted into volunteering.
Look at that question again, and focus on it as you answer. What EXACTLY caused you to choose this major... a desire to be what kind of physician and why...
What about your "qualifications?" Can you name specific qualifications and accomplishments while volunteering... or outside of your volunteer work?
Make sure they see that you are answering the prompt!!
:) Good luck.
