I am going to submit this essay soon, but I am not even sure if what I wrote is really relevent. Shall I include all of them or what else shall I put in? How can I improve it a little bit? Please let me know any mistake I made on grammar/expression as well. Thanks a lot!
Essay--Statement of 250-1,000 words. Choose one:
1. Describe how your Purdue education would support the attainment of your personal and/or professional goals.
It was Economics that made me realize the beauty of thinking independently and producing my own point of view. I started to play the game of predicting stock prices with my dad when I was 10 years old. I hadn't the faintest idea what provoked these changes, it was an interest, it seems, destined to flourish.
Fast-forward ten years to high school economics taught in the middle if a global financial meltdown, and enter a blossoming curiosity. With news headlines constantly reminding us of the falling banks, foreclosed homes, and angry politicians, the whole focus of financial markets came back into focus. How is it that a bad set of small but significant decisions pulled down all of the world's important economies? This was a question that exceeded the concepts we learned in class, but which intrigued me nonetheless, leading me to purchase the polemical subject in my own time. First I had to understand the basics, like 'Collateralized Debt Obligation', and 'Credit Default Swaps', fancy names for financial products that had gone rotten. Only then could I probe deeper into understanding the big picture, asking questions why are financial market necessary in the first place? Or how did they stray so far away from government regulation?
The China Business News on CCTV-2 is my favorite TV program and I enjoy reading the Financial Times during my leisure time. Rather than just listen to a traditional debate on Classical vs. Keynesian economics in class, I could also go online to hear and read about many economists, politicians, and even humanitarian-minded celebrities lashing out at another over the ramifications or solutions of the economics problems.
I go to school in Shanghai where the World Exposition has feverishly infected everyone for the past two years. However, it was billions of tax payers' money which contributed to the construction of the enormous project. How much economic growth would it bring to China and Chinese people? This question interested me. I did a lot of research on this issue and wrote an economics analysis. In my conclusion I found a 5% increase in GDP because of the Expo, which is impossible to be distributed evenly between people. I came up with the method of improving income distribution in China by reforming the tax system. I have also produced an analysis on a government policy which aims to lower the housing price by imposing the restriction that fees must be first paid for more than 50% without the bank loan. However it didn't make a difference due to the fact that the saving ratio in China is one of the highest in the world. Regarding this problem, I consider raising the interest rate to be a better solution. However, from the standpoint of a philosopher, there is much more to be discussed and explored. Questions like 'whether or what should the government do?', 'what is the optimum condition for our society?' first come to my mind. Rather than merely seeking for solutions, I would like to ask 'what is the real value to people of higher asset prices, how does it enrich their lives?' Shanghai is the epicenter of a new form of opulence, but it offers new conflicts that have to be discussed and studied. It is my hope to bring this perspective to the Purdue University and understand what can and should be done.
From my one week's work placement last summer at the Agricultural Bank of China, which is the third largest lender by assets in China, I had a taste of how the economy works as a whole from my daily work experience. I have learned a lot from introducing financial products to my clients and how to work as a team with my colleagues.
I believe studying Economics can always help problem solving, I hope to be involved in economic policy making in the future and help people with the problems we face in the society. Attending an outstanding university is certainly indispensable. Being one of the top Business Schools in the United States, the Krannert School of Management of the Purdue University is obviously my first choice.
Aside from its brilliant history and reputation, the course structure there is really attractive to me. Since I hope to attain a well-rounded education, I consider taking some other courses in humanities, like psychology, sociology, or history highly useful. Not only learning the economics theory, I am eager to get a better knowledge about the economics policy making as well.
My interest in the subject matter has clearly found a home, in an industry seemingly plagued by greed and faced with 10 years of restructuring. I hope to be part of that exciting re-shifting of priorities, and hope that the Purdue University agrees.
fancy names for financial products that had gone rotten
Nicely done... you have a great way with words.
You should use "for" with searching but not with seeking. Seeking = "searching for"
Rather than merely seeking
for solutions, I would ...
It is my hope to bring this perspective to the Purdue University and understand what can and should be done; XXXXXXX? YYYYYYY? ZZZZZZZ? ---I think at this point in the essay you should list some possibilities. These are your tentative goals, and they will strengthen the essay.
From my one week's work placement last summer at the Agricultural Bank of China, which is the third largest lender by assets in China, I had a taste of how the economy works ...learned a lot from introducing financial products to my clients and how to work as a team with my colleagues. (add sentences to this paragraph so that you bring it back to the question of what your goals are... end this paragraph with a reference to a goal).
Being one of the top Business Schools in the United States, the Krannert School of Management of the Purdue University is obviously my first choice. This goes without saying, and it is also not relevant to the question you are tackling. Focus on goals and the ways the school can facilitate your achievement of them.
Aside from its brilliant history and reputation, the course structure there is really attractive to me. Since I hope to attain a well-rounded education, I consider taking some other courses in humanities, like psychology, sociology, or history highly useful. Too general. Can you cite some articles written by professors? Articles related to your goals? That would be perfect.
I like the ending. :-)
