Embarrassing situation in the Exam Hall because of fear. 'A lesson from failure' essay

The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success.

The old village school was a veritable bedlam shrieking children-commanding teachers and tapping rulers. You could see, children playing, and singing poems in unison.
"Why didn't you complete your homework?" came voice from the adjacent class. Boy replied in a meek voice, "Sorry Sir, I couldn't do it because I forgot". Teacher shouted in anger," How dare you not complete your homework?" .Teacher ordered, "Bent on your knees and stretch your hands straight". Boy started crying and mumbling, "Sorry Sir, I will do it today".

Despite the screams from the adjacent class, I was trying hard to concentrate on my book to prepare myself for the next one hour in the school. I could hear the boy crying, even though he was in the adjacent class, which forced me to concentrate on my Maths book, rather than roaming in a fantasy world.

The scene was set in a small Government School in a small village of Uttar Pradesh, India. It was a nightmare for any of the student to be punished for not completing homework, mischief. Teachers usually asked student to bent on their knees and stretch their hand straight. I was a studious boy because of the nightmares I saw during daytime in the school. I was even lucky as I had never been punished by my teachers.

I could hear and sense the 'tick-tock' sound of the clock, fantasising myself driving an Aeroplane and thinking of the next day's, Jawahar Navodaya Vidyalaya, Examination. In the mist of my circumscribed thoughts around joy and happiness, I heard my teacher ordering us, "Complete all your homework or else you better know the result". All my senses came to life when I heard the bell. Children rushed out of their classes, shouting and howling their merry tunes of life, to their homes. I too, lost in my world of thoughts, wandering here and there, reached home, unaware of what awaited me their. I saw my headmaster sitting with my father. Firstly, the thought that struck me was, what have I done wrong? Thoughts started to cloud up in my mind, "What should I think of excuse?" if any problem arises. Then I realised that he came to talk to me of the next day's Entrance Examination of Jawahar Navodaya Vidyalaya. At that time, he not only changed my way of looking at education but also made me realise my potential. He made me to see education through new glasses. Earlier, I only perceived education out of fear, but he showed me it as a way to my dreams. He motivated me and guided me for the next day's examination.

Early in the morning, my mother gave me breakfast and blessed me to do my paper well. At an age of just 10, her beautiful smile was a blessing for me. My father took me to the examination centre and said to me, "Don't put your name down in front of your teachers". At that young age I couldn't understand what he said. I just said, "OK Papa" and smiled.

Finally, Invigilator arrived in the Exam Hall, a fat man with his hairs combed back and frightening eyes.
He announced in a heavy voice, "Whoever wants to go to washroom, he or she may leave just now. Or else I would not allow". I sat confidently on the fifth bench in the middle row scribbling down my roll number on my examination copy. It was a three hour examination and it was only three-fourth complete when I realised, I had to go to washroom. I couldn't control but I also feared the fat man, whose frightening eyes watched my every unusual step to control myself. I did lose my concentration from the paper, but I didn't ask him as I was afraid of him. Then I finally realised, I couldn't control anymore. I had no option left, but to give up. And when the paper finished, I was a laughing stock. Everyone stared at me as if I had done any crime, but what I could do. I was embarrassed, but my father said to me," No problem, it happens with everyone and you are only a child, but you did a mistake that you didn't ask your teacher for the permission". He didn't ask me of the exam as he knew, it would even disturb me more.

But that day I realised that fear was just an obstacle which you have to overcome to grow up or else you will perish down in this competing world. Later that year only I also realised that failures are always not too bad, as I did fail into JNV examination but I got a thousand times better opportunity to study in Vidyagyan and shape my future as I WANTED!

Himanshu, you have a tendency to tell long winded stories that do not really relate to the prompt that you are trying to respond to. Now, I am unsure as to the prompt that you are actually answering with this essay so please provide a copy of the prompt as soon as possible. However, I am sure that the essay that you wrote should be cut down, not only for length, but in order to create a proper response to the essay as well. There is no real failure to speak of in this essay because you actually passed the test that you took, despite the accident that you had during the exam. You seem to have confused the accident for an obstacle that you had to overcome. That is not the case. This was an unfortunate accident, but not an obstacle that prevented you from succeeding in your test.

What the reviewer is looking for here is a story that has a definite explanation of the failure involved and then, the explanation about how you succeeded despite the obstacle that was before you. For example, if you failed a national test and found yourself prevented from enrolling in school because of it, what did you do to overcome the result of that failure? The failure is the test and the obstacle is that you cannot enroll in school. Think of something that happened to you in a similar manner then share that story in this essay. That is the proper way to respond or develop a response to the prompt requirement.

I am looking forward to reading the actual prompt that you are responding to because the comments I have given are still general in coverage. I might have to adjust the advice depending upon the actual or additional requirements of the prompt.

The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

Sir actually I didn't qualify that exam. That was a different one. Please sir if you can elaborate what you mean.
Thanx

These lines and the above lines(i.e.)starting does not reflect where you are going to mold the story.
Remember Each line of the Personal essay rather each word of the essay should reflect the theme of your essay. I think that is missing somewhere.

Good Luck!!!

Himanshu, the way I see it, you should not reserve the information about your failure in that exam for the very end. As you can see, I did not even notice that you mentioned that you failed the exam because you placed it so low in the essay discussion. In the eyes of the reviewer, he may not also get that far in reading your essay response because you did not present the failure early enough in the essay. So, this is what you will have to do in order to correct the essay.

You should write a new essay that focuses on (1) telling the reviewer that you failed that test. Then (2) explain why you think you failed in that test and how you felt after the failure. After that (3) explain to the reviewer how you prepared for the next test that you took, for the school where you really wanted to study. In the end (4), you should show the reviewer that you passed the test because you learned from your previous mistakes.

As an optional part of the essay response (5) you can tell the reviewer that because you have experienced both failure and success, you are confident that you can face the challenges that college will present to you as a student in a country where you will probably have some failures because you will be a new student in a new world, with unexpected obstacles coming your way as a foreign student.

I hope my explanations and instructions are clear to you. Please don't hesitate to ask me any questions if you need clarification about anything I have instructed you to do. I am here to help you.

Himanshu,
You have done a great job..
but you need to work more on your untie of essay.
You need to mention your incident in a detailed way as universities want to know more about yourself so plz go through your essay ones again and mention more details about yourself.

Sir, I need some help with my starting part. How to start it.

I am not sure about how the information about the test that you took. It was a test that you took at a very young age so I am not sure if the reviewer will be impressed by that information. However, I will try to give you an example of how to open the essay using that topic. Here is my sample:

When I was 10 years old, my father told me that we could no longer afford my education. I would have to stop going to school because we needed the money he was earning for more important needs such as paying our rent and buying our food. I refused to accept that reasoning from my father. At that age, all I could think about was that all my friends would be going to school and I would not be joining them anymore. So, I decided to pursue some solutions to my school problem. I learned of a scholarship exam being given by (name of scholarship foundation). I decided that I would try to pass their test so that I could continue my schooling. My parents helped me prepare as best as we could for the test. Then exam day came...

That is only an example of how you can start your essay. You can use it as an example for your revised essay if you wish to. What is important is that you tell your story properly and accurately. Try to write the essay. Don't be afraid, we will all be here to help you make sure that the essay will be properly written for the prompt.

Sir like this incident, Can I present it in a funny way. It is absolutely an unfortunate incident.

Go ahead and present the incident in a funny way. When you write an essay, always think of ways to make it stand out from the others in the pack. That means, if you think that you can present the obstacle you have to overcome in a more memorable manner, then you should try to do that. So, if you want to present the event in a funny way, go ahead and do it. That might make it memorable for the reviewer. Use any chance you can get to show the reviewer a different aspect of your personality whenever you can. I like the idea of presenting the obstacle in a funny way. It will show the reviewer that you know how to laugh at yourself, even in the most trying of circumstances. I hope you can pull it off. I'll be here to lend you a helping had with further development if you need it. Don't hesitate to ask for her whenever you need it.

Sir I want to ask Where should I start from either from the exam day or something new.

You can start by telling about the preparations you made on exam day. You don't need to talk about the way you studied and the crying children and things like that. Just tell the reader that you were taking a scholarship exam because your parents could not afford to send you to school. Then from there, talk about the exam itself and how you failed it. You don't need to talk about the fact that you soiled yourself during the test. That is irrelevant and not part of the reason why you failed the exam. Just discuss that you failed the test, how you felt because you failed, and how you prepared to take the next test for a scholarship at a different school. Then talk about passing the test and the lessons that you learned from everything that you went through in order to win the scholarship. That should be enough to help you develop a more relevant response to the prompt requirements.