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'emphasis on a balanced curriculum' - GWU Essay



ShaLa28 2 / 3  
Jan 9, 2012   #1
Attach an essay of no more than 500 words indicating what most influenced you to apply to The George Washington University (required of all applicants). If you are applying to an accelerated or special program, also explain why you are interested in this program at GW.

It is undeniable that since the United States' emergence onto the world stage after the First World War, it has developed into a superpower that holds much leverage. From the Security Council in the United Nations to its interventions in global conflicts, the United States is a key factor to consider while studying international relations. When I consider a future where I would like to look into the complicated relationships between countries, I see no better place than Washington, D.C. Studying at GWU in the capital of the USA with its buzzing political activity, I will have invaluable access to resources for research and to further my knowledge of international relations.

I yearn to attend George Washington University because of its emphasis on a balanced curriculum in the Elliott School of International Affairs. In a way it is an extension of the International Baccalaureate curriculum which I have grown up studying in. Along with focusing on the International Affairs with classes such as World History, as a student of GWU, I will have the opportunity to experience classes such as Mathematics and Politics, connect the sciences to my intended major, and take classes where I can learn about different dances and music around the world. As I have resided in several countries, and experienced several different aspects of cultures around the world, I feel that the curriculum at the George Washington University is the perfect fit for me.

After having studied at George Washington University, I will graduate feeling like I have had access to the best resources in the field of international relations. I will graduate as a well-balanced person and feel confident about moving forward in the international relations field. Whether it is applying for post-graduate studies, a job, or internship, I feel that George Washington University has all this to offer and more.

HerrTrigger 2 / 3  
Jan 9, 2012   #2
I would restructure the first paragraph a bit. I would start by talking about how GWU is located at the political center of the United States and then talk about how that is useful to you. The first sentence or so should lay the ground work for your essay. You should make your point about GWU then support it, not the other way around. Also you talk about access to resources for research and to further you knowledge of international relations, this is not very specific. When I read this part I thought, I wonder what she means? Clearly you are interested in diplomacy and the like, but is it just GWU's location which makes it desireable for you, or does the University itself bring something to the table? I would home in on the opportunities found through GWU a little more specifically.

I do like how specific you are in the second paragraph. It makes me think, wow she really knows something about GWU. It seems like you have done your homework here. I also like your second sentence, it makes it seem like you are already well suited to be a student at GWU. Now you need to consider the part about how you can take mathematics and politics and learn about dances and music around the world. Is this something that GWU is known for, because I would think every major university would offer this. You need to work on that paragraph a bit. You need to create a closer association between something specific about GWU curriculum and your major.

I think your are getting a little ahead of yourself in the last part. The part of about having access to resources is kind of just rehashing some of what you said in the first paragraph. I might say something about how GWU is known as an excellent place to graduate from with a degree in your major and how that will give your better post graduation opportunities. You say this kind of, but I would be more explicit. I would really work on this part, as it seems like it was written to fill up space.

The ideas behind this essay are strong, it just needs to be tightened up some. I know I complained alot and I realize you have only five hundred words to make your point. If you make some revisions I think it can be an excellent essay.


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