I need feedback on my essay. It is for my UC Berkeley Prompt.
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
Ever since I was a student back in the Philippines, I've been an active member of our school's campus ministry, where I devoted myself to serve the community. We offer our time during the weekends and after school to help the community. I started out because my friends recruited me and little by little I discovered my passion for helping others.
One unforgettable moment I will forever treasure is my interaction with the slums around the town. Our club decided to ration food to those who are affected by the strong typhoon that hit the country. At first, I felt nervous and anxious about the idea because I never really liked going to such places but when I went there with my co-members, my heart stopped as I saw those faces in grief and pain. I saw families broken, sick, homeless and hungry and I never thought that it would be that worse compared to what we see in television. I immediately started giving out the goods we packed. The sadness I felt turned around as I began to see smilling faces. My ears were delighted when it hear people saying those soft "Salamat Po" which translated "Thank You" in English. My eyes were enthraled as I saw the hope we are bringing to them.
After hours of standing and handing out food, I sat at a corner. A man came close to me and invited us to his home for some snack. Our team took a break and headed to the man's house. The man invited us to his very small home and gave us some refreshments. He expressed his deep appreciation and thank us for all our help. Eventually we left and I felt as if I was the happiest person on Earth. I was amazed on how a simple volunteer work can changed the lives of families and how it came back to us.
That day made me proud and led me to the person that I am today. I discovered myself more and made me strive more to help others. Now, I am currently helping my sister finish her degree in Occupational Therapy. I am saving my earnings from my paid internship to help support her. I am hoping to lead more people and help them regardless of their situations. From that experience I learned that you don't need to be Mother Teresa or Ghandi to help your community. A simple act of caring creates an endless ripple.
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
Ever since I was a student back in the Philippines, I've been an active member of our school's campus ministry, where I devoted myself to serve the community. We offer our time during the weekends and after school to help the community. I started out because my friends recruited me and little by little I discovered my passion for helping others.
One unforgettable moment I will forever treasure is my interaction with the slums around the town. Our club decided to ration food to those who are affected by the strong typhoon that hit the country. At first, I felt nervous and anxious about the idea because I never really liked going to such places but when I went there with my co-members, my heart stopped as I saw those faces in grief and pain. I saw families broken, sick, homeless and hungry and I never thought that it would be that worse compared to what we see in television. I immediately started giving out the goods we packed. The sadness I felt turned around as I began to see smilling faces. My ears were delighted when it hear people saying those soft "Salamat Po" which translated "Thank You" in English. My eyes were enthraled as I saw the hope we are bringing to them.
After hours of standing and handing out food, I sat at a corner. A man came close to me and invited us to his home for some snack. Our team took a break and headed to the man's house. The man invited us to his very small home and gave us some refreshments. He expressed his deep appreciation and thank us for all our help. Eventually we left and I felt as if I was the happiest person on Earth. I was amazed on how a simple volunteer work can changed the lives of families and how it came back to us.
That day made me proud and led me to the person that I am today. I discovered myself more and made me strive more to help others. Now, I am currently helping my sister finish her degree in Occupational Therapy. I am saving my earnings from my paid internship to help support her. I am hoping to lead more people and help them regardless of their situations. From that experience I learned that you don't need to be Mother Teresa or Ghandi to help your community. A simple act of caring creates an endless ripple.
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