My english teacher as an influential person - Common App Prompt

Hi, I am writing the 3rd prompt for the common app essay. The prompt is, "Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence."

I have written the essay and would really like some feedback on what i can do to improve it. This is due tomorrow so any advice is GREATLY appreciated.

Thank you so much in advance.

Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you. This is a tough question as there are so many people that have influenced me in some way or another. Certain people are affected by certain events or individuals that greatly change their life. If I were to choose one person, he/she would be my eleventh grade English teacher, Mrs. Ostrenko. She is an extraordinary woman who has influenced me in myriad ways.

Being a teacher is not about teaching but also changing someone's life, whether it is significant or trivial.

"A teacher's greatest joy is seeing his/her students have success." These are the first words that came out of the mouth of Mrs. Linda Ostrenko on the first day of class. Not all students come to school excited to learn, but Ostrenko is the type of teacher that has the ability to make her class not only exciting, but memorable. Having taught for over ten years, she is still able to find the joy in teaching and remains as enthusiastic ally as ever about the topic she teaches. Her excitement about the subjects rubs off the students and makes the class fun and easy to understand. Not only did I learn more about English in one quarter from her class than I learned in my first two years of high school, but I was able to improve in all my other classes.

Mrs. Ostrenko looks like any other lady but what lies beneath is a benevolent soul with perseverance that inspires those around her. It is the sheer willpower and self-sacrificing that Mrs. Ostrenko demonstrated everyday that not only inspire me with the strength to overcome everyday obstacles, but also leaves me with invaluable life lessons.

The influence that Ostrenko had on is much greater than those of other teachers. Her passion for teaching can be seen in every single lesson. Coming to class and witnessing Ostrenko's passion has inspired me to seek the same kind of passion in my life. She is more than just an inspiration; she was a mentor who taught me the importance of education and balance in order to succeed. Ostrenko has become the teacher that I admire and will always remember.

Although there are many people who have influeced my lie If I were to choose one person,it would be my eleventh grade English teacher, Mrs. Ostrenko. She is an extraordinary woman who has influenced me in myriad ways. She shows that being a teacher is not about teaching but also changing someone's life, whether it is significant or trivial.

"A teacher's greatest joy is seeing his/her students have success." These are the first words that came out of the mouth of Mrs. Linda Ostrenko on the first day of class. Not all students come to school excited to learn, but Ostrenko is the type of teacher that has the ability to make her class not only exciting, but memorable. Having taught for over ten years, she is still able to find the joy in teaching and remains as enthusiastic as ever about the topic she teaches. Her excitement about her subjects rubs off the students and makes her class fun and easy to understand. Not only did I learn more about English in one quarter from her class than I learned in my first two years of high school, but her influence allowed me to improve in all my other classes as well.

Mrs. Ostrenko may look like any other lady but what lies beneath the surface is a benevolent soul with perseverance that inspires those around her. It is the sheer willpower and self-sacrificing attitude that Mrs. Ostrenko demonstrates everyday that not only inspires me with the strength to overcome everyday obstacles, but also teaches me invaluable life lessons.

The influence that Ostrenko had on me is so much greater than those of other teachers that I have had. Her passion for teaching is evedent in every single lesson she teaches. Coming to class and witnessing Ostrenko's passion has inspired me to seek the same kind of passion in my life. She is more than just an inspiration; she is a mentor who has taught me the importance of education and balance in order to succeed. Ostrenko has become the teacher that I admire and will always remember.

hey i hope you dont mind, i edited your essay a little bit. It should flow a little more properly now. Just a couple of words of advice, look out for past/ present tense issues. you should pick either talking about her in the past or in the present. Use either is, does, etc... or use was, did, etc... it will work out better for you in the end. =]

I think this is a good topic, but you need to talk more about how she impacted you. The way you have it now, you are complimenting your teacher, but not talking enough about yourself. Adding another paragraph about how her qualities impacted the class and impacted you as an individual might help a lot.

Yes, I think you should get right to the point:

My eleventh grade English teacher, Mrs. Ostrenko, is an e xtraordinary woman who has influenced me in myriad ways.

At the end of the essay, it will be great if you can somehow tell how she inspired you in a way that affects your choice of major, career, etc. this is a great essay about a great teacher, so now tap into that greatness so that it becomes cnnected in the reader's mind with the importance of you attending this school.