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Enhance intellectual maturity & explore other branches; Engage Academically AT UPENN



xphyllisx 6 / 22  
Dec 29, 2012   #1
This is my Final draft and i plan on submitting it tomorrow so I need quick confirmation that I answered the question correctly.

Given the undergraduate school to which you are applying, please discuss how you will engage academically at Penn. (Please answer in 300 words or less.)
From a young age, I set my mind to pursue a career in the sciences. However, at the time, my image of science simply consisted of mixing chemicals and scientists working vigilantly with medicines. It was through my AP biology class that I learned about different branches of science and developed an interest for molecular biology. Since then, I have anticipated pursuing opportunities for biological research and gaining a more intimate understanding of biological studies. At the College of Arts and Sciences, with its wide range of resources and opportunities, I believe there is a suitable environment for me to further my education and foster my interest for molecular biology. I look forward to utilizing the resources available in the Biomedical Library so that I may enhance my intellectual maturity and explore other scientific branches. I also look forward to participating in the Independent Study project for those majoring in biology so that I may fulfill my desire of finding out what it is like to be involved in laboratory research.

When I visited the campus, one of the first aspects I immediately noticed was the close relationships students seemed to have with their professors. During my tour, I saw a few students hold friendly conversations with their professors and the professors seemed to show genuine concern for the progress of their students. Such a close relationships with professors one of the main reasons I wish to pursue my passions at Penn. I believe having meaningful relationships with my professors will encourage me to actively engage in class discussions and keep me truly interested in expanding my knowledge of biological science. At Penn, the numerous opportunities available will fortify my knowledge and motivate me to make bold advances in exploring the components of biology.

hellogoodbye 2 / 20  
Dec 29, 2012   #2
Good except second paragraph can be replaced with any school. And it's a little bit cliche.

Help with mine?
sillybandz 6 / 20  
Dec 29, 2012   #3
The transition between the second and third paragraph is a bit awkward.
OP xphyllisx 6 / 22  
Dec 29, 2012   #4
Do you any advice of how I could fix this because I really have no idea how I could change it.


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