Hello. My essay lies below. I would really appreciate any input. I am attempting to be re-admitted to my previous college.
In particular, I am not sure if my essay is too story-like. :(
Thank you in advance.
Dear application reviewer,
My name is **** **** and I would like to persuade you that I am fit to return to your great college.
I dropped out of SUNY Buffalo's mechanical engineering program during my third semester. I believe I did it for good and bad reasons. I found that I wasn't motivated to study mechanical engineering. At the time, I wasn't really motivated to be in college at all. I believe that dropping out was the responsible thing to do. Even after three semesters, I still did not know what I was doing in college. It felt impossible for me to care enough to study as hard as I could and go to all my classes.
I was truly lost and unmotivated when I dropped out. For these reasons, I believe dropping out was a good choice. However, I dropped out because of immaturity as well. Instead of going to classes I played video games or did something as equally time-wasting. I was very immature because I didn't try my best, I didn't even try to seek counseling, and I became frustrated when things got difficult for me.
I am not proud of dropping out, but I have accepted it and have learned from the experience. I recently graduated from SUNY Oswego with a B.A. in Global Studies which had a concentration in sustainability. At SUNY Oswego I tried harder, I learned to discipline myself, I became more involved with campus life and importantly I found a field of great interest to me, sustainability.
Since I graduated from SUNY Oswego, I have been teaching English in Japan. My time in Japan has been amazing and eye opening as well. The short time I have been in the "real world" has made me appreciate the entire college experience more than ever. That is to say as a stepping stone, a guiding force, a place to meet intelligent people and a place to learn invaluable skills.
While I currently love teaching, I would like to return to that passion I found in my sustainability courses. As such, I implore you to consider my re-entry into your great college as an environmental or civil engineer. I strongly wish to contribute to the earth's and its inhabitants' safety.
Best regards,
**** ****
In particular, I am not sure if my essay is too story-like. :(
Thank you in advance.
Dropped a College Program
Dear application reviewer,
My name is **** **** and I would like to persuade you that I am fit to return to your great college.
I dropped out of SUNY Buffalo's mechanical engineering program during my third semester. I believe I did it for good and bad reasons. I found that I wasn't motivated to study mechanical engineering. At the time, I wasn't really motivated to be in college at all. I believe that dropping out was the responsible thing to do. Even after three semesters, I still did not know what I was doing in college. It felt impossible for me to care enough to study as hard as I could and go to all my classes.
I was truly lost and unmotivated when I dropped out. For these reasons, I believe dropping out was a good choice. However, I dropped out because of immaturity as well. Instead of going to classes I played video games or did something as equally time-wasting. I was very immature because I didn't try my best, I didn't even try to seek counseling, and I became frustrated when things got difficult for me.
I am not proud of dropping out, but I have accepted it and have learned from the experience. I recently graduated from SUNY Oswego with a B.A. in Global Studies which had a concentration in sustainability. At SUNY Oswego I tried harder, I learned to discipline myself, I became more involved with campus life and importantly I found a field of great interest to me, sustainability.
Since I graduated from SUNY Oswego, I have been teaching English in Japan. My time in Japan has been amazing and eye opening as well. The short time I have been in the "real world" has made me appreciate the entire college experience more than ever. That is to say as a stepping stone, a guiding force, a place to meet intelligent people and a place to learn invaluable skills.
While I currently love teaching, I would like to return to that passion I found in my sustainability courses. As such, I implore you to consider my re-entry into your great college as an environmental or civil engineer. I strongly wish to contribute to the earth's and its inhabitants' safety.
Best regards,
**** ****
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