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Executing the leadership and innovative skills - FIU Honors is the epitome of academic excellence



samydelvalle 1 / 1  
Dec 29, 2014   #1
Please look over my personal statement that I must submit in order to be admitted into FIU's Honors College. Please let me know if I should add, change, or move anything! Constructive criticism is welcomed. Thank you!!

Q: Why do you want to join the Honors College? Please write a brief (maximum 300 words) statement of why you want to join the Honors College. How can the Honors College help you achieve your academic and career goals? Please be specific.

I, personally, have always sought quality education throughout all of my educational endeavors and it is simple to see that FIU Honors is the epitome of academic excellence. I desire to join FIU's Honors College because I believe the challenging curriculum will allow me to develop into a better educator in the near future. I am certain I will be able to execute the leadership and innovative skills, derived from FIU Honors, in my own classroom. As an aspiring English major, FIU Honors will allow me to sharpen my analytical and critical thinking skills needed to, figuratively, "dissect" and explore the beauty that is English literature, language, and composition. The Honors College can provide many benefits for me academically. The advanced research and exciting study abroad programs are both mediums in which I can thoroughly acquire knowledge on a hands-on basis with a global perspective. The connectivity aspects of the Honors College will allow me to connect the real world with the classroom, allowing me to compare and contrast situations in a deeper way. To top it off, the Honors College will grant me the chance to involve myself with the vivid, lively South Florida community and contribute to the common good.

The thought of joining Florida International University's Honors College enthuses me as I am prepared and willing to incorporate my creativity into something I am passionate about: learning. The Honors College will not only allow me to advance academically, but also entrust me with a well-rounded education which I can carry out in my life for years to come. I have always yearned to be a Knight, but it would be a privilege to be a Knight of Honor.

vangiespen - / 4077  
Dec 29, 2014   #2
You've only written 187 words, you are very far from meeting the maximum word count so why not try to write a little bit more in the essay to further develop the reasons why you chose to apply to Honors? Make mention of the classes that you specifically feel you will be able to learn more from and how your career goals fall in line with the course and program offerings of the college. Make sure to identify how your goals and ambitions will be better met by enrolling at their college and represent the improvements that you look forward to enhancing in both your academic and social life. Remember to present factual data in relation to your claims as the essay demands that you be specific in making your statements. That is an under developed portion of the essay that can use some beefing up thanks to your extra word count.
OP samydelvalle 1 / 1  
Dec 29, 2014   #3
Thank you for the suggestions! I spruced it up a bit. Is it any better?


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