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to expand my knowledge - FSU essay, opinions and suggestions on improvement



lps227 1 / -  
Nov 19, 2008   #1
Vires, Artes, Mores--three words foreign to me before my decision to apply to Florida State University. These words are the driving philosophy of FSU. After learning the meanings of these words, I realized how they reflect the person who I have become, and why Florida State is the ideal school for me.

Vires, meaning strength of all kinds, is the word that has the most significance to me. Strength comes in all shapes and forms, such a physical, moral, and intellectual. I exhibit all of these strengths. I have played baseball throughout high school and I am a member of LA Fitness. I go to the gym everyday to keep myself in shape. I am in all AP/honors classes; my only elective is even an honors course. This was all by my choice. Morals play a big role in my life. I believe that people with morals and values will go far in life. Although they might not lead to fame and fortune, they are the foundation to a good person and to me, that is more important than fame and fortune.

Artes is a word that refers to the beauty in intellectual pursuits shown in craft, skill, or art. Since my freshman year, I have been involved in the Television Production program at my school. Since I lack the gift of being musically inclined and artistically inclined, I use this form of art to express myself. As the editor for the morning announcements, I have the ability to make the announcements unique while keeping a professional look to them at the same time. Also, I am currently working on a music video that is about how the world, socially and environmentally, is falling apart because of us, the human race as a whole.

Mores is a word meaning character, custom, and tradition. Traditions and customs are an important aspect in my life. For example, being a Catholic household, it is customary to say grace before Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner. Also, during the holiday season, my parents and I bedeck our house with lights galore. These are the types of things I look forward to at these times of the year. Without customs and traditions, there would be nothing to look forward to.

Once unknown to me, these words have taken a meaning in my life and have influenced me. I see my chance to attend the prestigious Florida State University as a chance to expand my knowledge and most importantly, open up doors in my career and better myself as a person.

EF_Team5 - / 1583  
Nov 20, 2008   #2
You have a very good essay here; a few structural/mechanical suggestions, but you answer the prompt effectively. You discuss each aspect of the philosophy and give good examples of how they are apparent in your life. Keep up the good work!


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