What else should I added in the essay?? I totally have no idea with this essay.
Is there any point that I should take off or add ??
Thank you.
( Short Essay)
I was selected into elite Science Program in Grades 10 and 11 based upon my performance in Grade 9. I was glad and honored to be divided into this class. However, when the semester was going, I fell into a difficult time to study, as teachers only concerned to learn science by heart. Consequently, I found that I was not as smart and sensitive as other students since my mind set is not well established to right attitude for learning, especially with numbers and scientific theories. Thus, even though I struggled very hard in these two years, I was receiving only an average grade in my academics during these two years. Nevertheless, I set a goal for myself and I was striving hard. Finally, my effort was worked that my grade was improving compared to my grades and rank in academic records between grade 10 and 11.
No matter having a crunch time in science in secondary school, I have decided to major in Biology in my sophomore year. I have taken biology and chemistry lectures during last semester. I always have brain storm and access new knowledge easily, and I have gradually built my own critical and analytical thinking up from these classes. I realized that pursuing my education in my home country was not suitable for me, in that they mostly practiced the spoon-fed system, which encourages students to memorize all of the details in the book and get a good grade. Rather, colleges in the United State encourage students to apply the theory interactively with daily experience, where I am more comfortable and encouraged to learn. I believe that the United States is the best place for me to achieve my goal as to be a medical professional. Thus, I am exceedingly excited to further pursuing my college in the United State.
Is there any point that I should take off or add ??
Thank you.
( Short Essay)
I was selected into elite Science Program in Grades 10 and 11 based upon my performance in Grade 9. I was glad and honored to be divided into this class. However, when the semester was going, I fell into a difficult time to study, as teachers only concerned to learn science by heart. Consequently, I found that I was not as smart and sensitive as other students since my mind set is not well established to right attitude for learning, especially with numbers and scientific theories. Thus, even though I struggled very hard in these two years, I was receiving only an average grade in my academics during these two years. Nevertheless, I set a goal for myself and I was striving hard. Finally, my effort was worked that my grade was improving compared to my grades and rank in academic records between grade 10 and 11.
No matter having a crunch time in science in secondary school, I have decided to major in Biology in my sophomore year. I have taken biology and chemistry lectures during last semester. I always have brain storm and access new knowledge easily, and I have gradually built my own critical and analytical thinking up from these classes. I realized that pursuing my education in my home country was not suitable for me, in that they mostly practiced the spoon-fed system, which encourages students to memorize all of the details in the book and get a good grade. Rather, colleges in the United State encourage students to apply the theory interactively with daily experience, where I am more comfortable and encouraged to learn. I believe that the United States is the best place for me to achieve my goal as to be a medical professional. Thus, I am exceedingly excited to further pursuing my college in the United State.
