Hi! I know this is really bad...I'm having difficulties with the word limit. I think I'm trying to cramp too much info and when I cut it according to the limit, It sounds choppy...
Any criticisms?? Also, I'm not using much of the "smart words" so any suggestions?
P.S: Im not a native speaker so I know some of the parts are a bit of awkward so PLZ be harsh on me!
Thanks! :)
Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?(*) (200-250 words)
Clash!!! I woke up to the sound of breaking glass followed by my father's yelling, which still echoes in my head from time to time. My parents were arguing and my father, once again, raised his fist at my mother. I peeked quietly through the gap of the door finding my four-year old self powerless to do anything. After seeing my father leaving, I dashed towards my mother. My heart ached as I watched mother desperately sitting on the ground surrounded by broken glass and tears pouring down from her eyes. I knew it wasn't my time to be weak. I tightened my trembling knees, dried my tears and I hugged her with full strength trying to alleviate her pain.
Years later, my mother confessed her exposure to domestic violence explaining that she hesitated to divorce my father because her maternal instinct was saying how I shouldn't grow up without father. Eventually, she signed the divorce paper and sought for life in Japan. She first went to Japan alone to prepare an environment for me. While she was there, she met my step-father, who's the kindest person I've ever met. Even though I had some resistance to having a new father at first, I was soon thankful that my mother found someone this perfect. I've been under the influences of myriad changes and people in my world. My aspiration, therefore, is to become someone as independent and strong as my mother, who's the most influential person in that world.
Any criticisms?? Also, I'm not using much of the "smart words" so any suggestions?
P.S: Im not a native speaker so I know some of the parts are a bit of awkward so PLZ be harsh on me!
Thanks! :)
Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?(*) (200-250 words)
Clash!!! I woke up to the sound of breaking glass followed by my father's yelling, which still echoes in my head from time to time. My parents were arguing and my father, once again, raised his fist at my mother. I peeked quietly through the gap of the door finding my four-year old self powerless to do anything. After seeing my father leaving, I dashed towards my mother. My heart ached as I watched mother desperately sitting on the ground surrounded by broken glass and tears pouring down from her eyes. I knew it wasn't my time to be weak. I tightened my trembling knees, dried my tears and I hugged her with full strength trying to alleviate her pain.
Years later, my mother confessed her exposure to domestic violence explaining that she hesitated to divorce my father because her maternal instinct was saying how I shouldn't grow up without father. Eventually, she signed the divorce paper and sought for life in Japan. She first went to Japan alone to prepare an environment for me. While she was there, she met my step-father, who's the kindest person I've ever met. Even though I had some resistance to having a new father at first, I was soon thankful that my mother found someone this perfect. I've been under the influences of myriad changes and people in my world. My aspiration, therefore, is to become someone as independent and strong as my mother, who's the most influential person in that world.