Can u provide us with full prompt?
then my life would be terribly different
omg, this sentence is too negative. Life is going on in other countries too. Many people live outside the US and they are way happier than Americans. I know what you meant but your sentence conveys a very wrong message. revise it plz.
I wouldn't have had the fortune of living in one of the wealthiest areas or the opportunity to attend school in one of the best school systems in the United States.
delete that part I mentioned above and combine the first sentence and this sentence as one. btw, I think this opening statement could be a bit more interesting. I mean "american dreams" or "having good education systems" sounds cliche (just my opinion)
My suggestion: I think you should open the essay with a statement about people who do not have access to high quality education, then connect it to your experience. Talk in details about your experience in the body section and finally come to the conclusion that you, as a person who had a chance to study in a wold-class education system, can make a better contribution to the society or you can also add those people who worked hard to study in the hardest situation one can ever imagine have inspired you.hope this helps
Cheers,
Ahmad