Please briefly elaborate on one of your activities or work experiences that is most meaningful to you. (150 word limit)
Figure skating has revolved around my life more than an annual skate on a Christmas afternoon. The sport doesn't waver much from its image; sparkles, spins and jumps - though I've always seen past the frilly dresses and gut-wrenching falls. Skating was something that I loved and felt grateful to have in my life. When I could no longer afford lessons I wanted to do more than just watch competitions through a TV-screen. Developing an ice skating site kept me inadvertently tied to a passion I thought initially lost. The competitive-season became a time when I eagerly updated my site. Living in San Diego, few people are keen about rinks and ice but through my site, I reached out to people who were. A small idea as a freshman has somehow kept my passion burning. I haven't been on the ice for a while, but in some ways I've never really left it.
It sounds, excellent, you have a solid writing style. I would just reword a few things.
"Figure skating has revolved around my life more than an annual skate on a Christmas afternoon."
Wouldn't it make more sense for your life to revolve around the sport? I'm sure you have influence, but even olympic skaters don't necessarily get to make the sport revolve around them!
"The sport doesn't waiver much from its image; sparkles, spins and jumps. However, I've always seen past the frilly dresses and gut-wrenching falls."
I don't think the gut-wrenching falls factor into the image so much, but I could be wrong. I'm a boy with no experience beyond a distant cousin, so that's just my image.
"When I could no longer afford lessons I wanted to do more than just watch competitions through a TV-screen.
Maybe exclude that part, even though it may be central to the way you think about the activity. Since you don't have room to extrapolate, it leaves the reader dissatisfied and wondering why you could no longer afford lessons. Maybe if the reason is simple enough, say because they got too expensive at the level you had reached or something. Otherwise, I'd leave that topic be.
"Developing an ice skating site kept me inadvertently tied to a passion that I thought i hadinitially lost. The competitive-season became a time when I eagerly updated my site. Living in San Diego, few people are keen about rinks and ice but through my site, I reached out to people who were. A small idea as a freshman has somehow kept my passion burning. I haven't been on the ice for a while, but in some ways I've never really left it."
This needs quite a bit more explanation. I'm not sure how/when, specifically, the website(?) came about and what it's function is. Is it a service for the public, are you using it to compile data, stories, news? Just a little extrapolation would go a long way.
You clearly have an attachment to figure skating and a background in the sport that is meaningful to you. Maybe as opposed to the website, elaborate on a specific lesson or principal it instilled in you, like a respect for practice and rehearsal, the will to rigorously train, or appreciation for connections it has given you.
Good luck!
