'the flash of images on a computer monitor' - Cornell engineering essay

ESSAY PROMPT: Engineers turn ideas (technical, scientific, mathematical) into reality. Tell us about an engineering idea you have or your interest in engineering. Explain how Cornell Engineering can help you further explore this idea or interest.

Many of my childhood memories are filled with the flash of images on a computer monitor and the click of typing. Computers mesmerized me with their power and capabilities. I was amazed by technologies like the Internet, which allowed me to view a near endless supply of information and connected me to other computer users from around the globe while sitting at home, or robots, which took information from the digital world and changed the physical one. As I grew older, my appreciation for computers changed from amazement at what computers did to what they could be made to do.

Every month, there are ground breaking innovations in computing. This spirit of advancement is unique to field of computer science. Computers' near infinite ability to be improved feeds this spirit. There are no unbreakable rules of physics preventing the progress of computers. The availability of memory and processing power are the only limits to computer scientist's work. Both of these limits are increasing at an exponential rate insuring that computers scientists' horizon of possibility is always expanding forming the perfect environment for new innovations and inventors.

Also, there is a practicality to engineering, particularly computer science, uncommon to other fields of study. From medicine to business to entertainment, computers are used everywhere and their presences only continues to grow. The widespread use of computers ensures that the general population will benefit from innovations rather than just the PhD holding community. Computer scientists have a unique chance to make society-improving advancements.

Cornell College of Engineering is the perfect place to refine myself into a computer scientist, an engineer, and an innovator. Cornell's world renowned curriculum offers breath in addition to depth. Since computers are used with so many other fields, a board education is especially important for computer scientist. The Study Abroad program offers a chance to broaden my education even further. Through it, I will be able to experience a culture that experiences technology in a different way and gain a greater global perspective for my own work. Cornell's most appealing aspect however is the myriad of research opportunities. Through independent research or a project-based class such as Robot Learning, I will be able to take a real problem facing the world of computing and solve it while still an undergraduate.

Hey this is my Cornell engineering essay i am not a strong essay writer and feel like there is a problem with this one if you could proof read it for me i would be hugely grateful.

Many of my childhood memories are filled with the flash of images on a computer monitor and the click of typing. Computers HAVE ALWAYS mesmerized me with their power and capabilities. I was amazed by TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCES like the Internet, which allowed me to view a near endless supply of information and connected me to other computer users from around the globe while sitting at home, or robots, which took information from the digital world and changed the physical one. <<<Separate that last sentence into two> As I grew older, my appreciation for computers HAS changed from amazement at THEIR ABILITIES TO AN URGE TO FIND THEIR LARGER CAPABILITIES.

Every month, there are groundbreaking(<<<one word) innovations in computing. This spirit of advancement is unique to THE field of computer science. Computers' near infinite ability to be improved feeds this spirit.(<<<<last sentence was repetitive, i'd get rid of it) There are no unbreakable rules of physics preventing the progress of computers. The availability of memory and processing power are the only limits to A computer scientist's work. Both of these limits are increasing at an exponential rate(((,)))) insuring that computers scientists' horizon of possibility is always expanding. THIS FORMS the perfect environment for new innovations and inventors.

THERE IS ALSO A practicality to engineering, particularly computer science, uncommon to other fields of study. From medicine to business to entertainment, computers are used everywhere(((,))) and their presence(remove the s) only continues to grow. <<<WHILE OTHER ADVANCEMENTS ONLY AFFECT PHD-HOLDERS,>>>The widespread use of computers ensures that the ENTIRE population will benefit from innovations. Computer scientists have a unique chance to make society-improving advancements.

Cornell College of Engineering is the perfect place to refine myself into a computer scientist, an engineer, and an innovator. Cornell's world renowned curriculum offers breath in addition to depth. Since computers are used with so many other fields, a board education is especially important for computer scientist. The Study Abroad program offers a chance to broaden my education even further. Through it, I will be able to experience a culture that experiences technology in a different way and gain a greater global perspective for my own work. Cornell's most appealing aspect however is the myriad of research opportunities. Through independent research or a project-based class such as Robot Learning, I will be able to take a real problem facing the world of computing and solve it while still an undergraduate.

Overall, I like your idea of how computers both constantly improve and change the world through their improvements. Maybe add a little bit more on how Cornell can specifically further your interests. But good job! :)

I think that throughout the essay you really show your fascination for computers and technology - but I think you can cut down on a lot of the info and still get your point across.

It might be more effective if you made some more room in your essay and elaborated a bit more and be specific. You talk about so many aspects of computers - which one appeals to you most?

thank you so much you comments really helped.

hey i reworked my opening. i thought the frist won was kind of bland and useless. any comments would be great

High pitch shrieks blasted through my parents' home office. Loud beeps and buzzing joined the shrieks to form a head-ache inducing racket. For three minutes, I endured the hellish symphony's assault on my seven year old ears. Finally in size 18 Ariel font, "Success!" flashed before me. A white screen covered my computer monitor as a reward for passing this trial. Soon, splashes of blue and black formed at the top of the screen and growed into shapes and pictures. Three more minutes of waiting and I was sitting face to face with the AOL homepage. From there, the world was at my fingertips. With only a few key strokes, I could have accessed a wealth of information greater than any library. Another combination of keys and I could have communicated with someone on the other side of the world at speeds that would make divine Iris look inefficient. Like any rational seven years old given humanities greatest invention and unlimited possibilities, I went straight to a game but as I grew older, I learned to see how amazing the computer in front of me was and how much could be created with it.

Every month, there are groundbreaking innovations in computing. Every month, someone redefines how we use computers, how we communicate with them, how are society funcuntions. This spirit of advancement is unique to the field of computer science. There are no unbreakable rules of physics preventing the progress of computers. The availability of memory and processing power are the only limits to computer scientist's work. Both of these limits are increasing at an exponential rate, insuring that computers scientists' horizon of possibility is always expanding. This forms the perfect environment for new innovations and inventors.

There is also a practicality to engineering, particularly computer science, uncommon to other fields of study. From medicine to business to entertainment, computers are used everywhere, and their presence only continues to grow. While other research only affects PhD holders, the widespread use of computers ensures that the entire population will benefit from innovations. Computer scientists have a unique chance to make society-improving advancements.

Cornell College of Engineering is the perfect place to refine myself into a computer scientist, an engineer, and an innovator. Cornell's world renowned curriculum offers breath in addition to depth. Since computers are used with so many other fields, a board education is especially important for computer scientist. The Study Abroad program offers a chance to broaden my education even further. Through it, I will be able to experience a culture that experiences technology in a different way and gain a greater global perspective for my own work. Cornell's most appealing aspect however is the myriad of research opportunities. Through independent research or a project-based class such as Robot Learning, I will be able to take a real problem facing the world of computing and solve it while still an undergraduate.

SO. MUCH. BETTER. more interesting, shows better writing. growed isn't a word, and you have a few run-on sentences. but overall, nice rewrite!!

yah growed was a causality of me changing the entire first paragraph from present to past tense really quickly. thanks for feed back i taking out the 3rd paragraph i don't think it does much. any thoughts on that

ask yourself if anybody else can write this essay if not you succeeded

other than that, Amazing Work !
I am a high school student who wants to pursue Electrical or mechanical engineering at Purdue Next year.
Please look at the Last essay I just posted its about engineering and my future at purdue
thank you