Hello I'm Bong, and I'm from Korea.
English isn't my first language, and I've never been to any English speaking countries
if you help me with grammar, that will be nice
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"To be free, one must give up a little part of oneself." In the musical Hedwig, mother of Hansel, the main character of the show, said to her son. This single line made me look back on my past. When I was a kid, I took a lot of interest in everyone and everything around me. When my friends were crying, I would share that sad feeling. When it snowed, I would go out and walk in the snow. But a hectic life has blunted my curiosity as I entered high school. I was a good student getting good grade, but I wasn't a good friend. However hard it snow, I didn't look out the window any more. Finally I realized I was complacent for a long time. I wanted my old self back again. Since then, attempts at experiencing and learning new things began. Thanks to this change in attitude, I could participate in the 'Japan Future Leaders School' as a one of five representatives of Korea. However, the process was never easy.
The selection process was very long and thorough due to the scale of the event. Many people, including school teachers and parents, concerned about my challenge on this account. They said it is better to focus on studying, rather than draw to an inside straight. It was a tough decision for me, too. Still, I didn't regret my determination. I no longer wanted to be a slave to 'good grades'. And while spending three weeks with hundreds of teenagers from around the world, I could learn how to be with others and be confident in my own initiative.
After I came back to Korea, I tried to come up with an answer to a question that had been distressing me for years. 'What do I want to do with my life?' For this, I started to challenge various things in different fields. I always knew the importance of sharing but to put it into practice was another thing. So I volunteered for community service that helping elderly and handicapped people. I also took a profound interest in science and technology, escaping from the school curriculum focused on humanities and social science. And these wide experiences gave me not only a wide range of knowledge but also a integrated thinking ability.
My 'media artworks' are products of this ability. Among many kinds of media art like pop art and video art, my preference was 'glitch art'. I could show my feelings and thoughts about diverse issues of society through glitch art that conveys messages by distorting or breaking images. The work I remember most is 'Love Just Won'. At that time, I heard the news the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that same-sex marriage is constitutional. Because I knew many gay rights activists have fought long and bravely, I wanted to congratulate them on their results. So I created the work, using the picture of a dove which means peace and rainbow colors that symbolize homosexuality. Then I posted it on a website I named after myself and a facebook group that defends the rights of gay people. And when I saw hundreds of comments and mails say 'I'm moved by your piece', my heart was overflowing with pleasure.
My previous days in high school were full of worries and discouragements. But these wonderful experiences brought me not only a better understanding of various social phenomena but also a deeper understanding of myself and people around me. Now I know there are no boundaries in learning. I'll always try to release my own creativity, ruminating on the lessons I learned.
ok, Bong, i really appreciate you to study English.
i'm going to try to give several corrections on your passage.
I was a good student getting goodgrade , but I wasn't a good friend
here, u typed same words in one sentence, as i know, you have to paraphrase it. Then, u can add "s" after word "grade" since we can group this in plural. so i modified it becomes :
I was a good student who gaining fine grades, moreover i was not an excellent friend.
However hard it snow , I didn't look out the window any more. Finally I realized I was complacent for a long time
green sign : you need to add comma after that words
blue sign: you have to add "s" as the subject is it.
so becomes :
However, it is hard snows, I didn't look out the window any more. Finally, I realized I was complacent for a long time
thanks
Irfan Ardian
- However hard it snowed ,..
-... I didn't look out the window any moreanymore ( this word is written as one) .
- I no longer wanted to be a slave to 'good grades'.a nd while...
- ...with others and be confident inwith my own initiative.
- AfterWhen I came back to Korea,...
- ...I heard in the news that the U.S. Supreme...
- Because( according to the english language rule, you should avoid starting your sentence with the cause of the subject) I knew many...
Good job on your determination and hard work to become better!!!
Remember, there's only one way to move and that is to move up.
Learn new things everyday and improve yourself in every possible way.
