my experiences as a woman in india
"Beti Bachao, Beti Padhao" (Save The Girl Child, Educate The Girl Child) is a slogan in Hindi, written on the entrance board of my village, that can be seen almost everywhere even on the cover page of the notebook I bought from the local stationery shop. But the question is to save girls from whom and who is stopping them from getting educated? And why has the need to raise such a slogan arisen when everything seems to be perfectly fine with the women in India? Come on it is the 21st century and women have equal rights as men.
It happened to me in 2015 when I was in grade 10 and my social science teacher was discussing the topic of sex ratios, highlighting the fact of the state with the highest sex ratio and the lowest sex ratio in India. I belong to the latter one, the state with the lowest sex ratio. As the only person in the class belonging to that state, one of my classmates gazed at me to confirm the same and with no knowledge of the ground reality, and as an ignorant, I completely denied the fact and gave examples of successful women like Kalpana Chawla and Saina Nehwal from the state. Even though native to Haryana, I was born in Punjab and brought up in different states of India because of my father's military service. After retirement, my family decided to move back to our village.
Moving to my village was an eye-opening experience for me. It felt as if I had entered a different world. I became aware of the real condition of women in rural India. I observed that women have locked themselves in the four walls of their houses. They are not allowed to step outside and have lost all their desires to see the outside world. If some women are willing to, then they have to mandatory cover their face with a veil or 'Ghunghat' before stepping out. Domestic abuse against women and children has been normalized. Neither do they have the courage to stand against these abuses nor are they aware of their legal rights? Traumatized in early childhood, these children do not realize that a smile can do magic on their faces to enhance their beauty.
Young girls are pressured to get married as early as possible. It happened to one of my younger cousins when she graduated from high school she was being forced to get married at just 18 years of age, but her mom stood strong for her daughter and won. Now the girl is enrolled in a college and continuing her education. I saw another teenage girl under 15 years of age who was forced to drop out of school to get married to a man, nearly double her age. Women do not have the right to choose when to marry and who to marry. There is no option given to women for not getting married at all. They are forced to choose marriage over a career as if marriage is the ultimate goal in life for the women to accomplish. They always have to seek someone's approval for everything they do.
For many years the horrible event of female feticide took place in Haryana. The gender of so many unborn babies was identified, and if found to be females were immediately aborted. And many were killed even after birth. Those women who didn't bear a male child were always looked down upon. This led to the shortage of girls in the state and ultimately a decrease in the sex ratio. The bigger consequences were yet to come. This led to a shortage of brides in the state. Men started to bring brides from the other states. Some even purchased the brides. Another incident caught my attention, a woman who was being called 'Mol Ki Dulhan', (a bride purchased in exchange for money), originally belonged to another state and was brought here after being sold by her family who happens to be poor. Her life is no less than a bonded slave, to ever become free in life she will have to pay back the amount to her husband cum owner along with debt otherwise serve him for life.
Women are always considered liabilities and burdens to the family since their birth. 'Bhateri', the name of a Haryanvi woman translates to 'enough', and 'Bhul' of another woman which means 'regret', such embarrassing names were given to many girls at the time of their birth to punish them. Their crime, their gender. The birth of a baby boy is considered auspicious, while that of a girl child, is misfortune. Every time they are made to realize that they are someone else's 'property', especially men. As long as her life is, she has to live under the shadow of men. Without them her very existence is questionable. Dowry is still prevalent in society, those women who are unable to pay enough dowry, life for them is no less than hell after marriage.
A feww days ago, I encountered one of the most horrific incidents so far when this 24-year-old woman in my neighborhood was burnt alive just two days before her wedding by a neighboring man in her own house. Her crime, her resistance against the relationship the man was forcing on her.
Every time I try to escape the norms of society, denser than a black hole keeps on pulling me inside with its greatest forces. If women have got freedom then where is it? Or else freedom- the biggest lie ever told to women. It is well said that bitter experiences make us more resilient. All these experiences have shaped me into a much stronger and more daring woman, who is willing to change the norms of society. I am now able to see a higher purpose in life and live for it.
Both of my parents had to quit their education just after high school. I had to quit it too because of my financial hurdles. Now, after realizing the importance of education particularly among women, I have decided to resume it again. I would probably be 24, by the time I join the college for my bachelor's, maybe as a mature student. Most people say, now it is your age to get married and not to attend college. They say that a woman doesn't dream, if you are a woman learn to sacrifice. Yet, ignoring them I am firm, resilient, and determined to attend college. Because I know only angelic education can help me to come out of this darkness.
