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Girls Inc. - Elaborate on Extracurricular Activity Common App



kavinsky 1 / 3  
Nov 29, 2011   #1
So this is my essay for the extracurric. common app short essay, please let me know what you think.
Thank you in advance to those who help check my essay. Critical opinions are encouraged.

Being a member of the Girls Inc. Advocating Change Together program is an experience that I have held in high regard. Through the interactive workshops, I changed from an unassertive and self-conscious individual to someone capable of voicing out their opinions. The program opened my eyes to a new perspective of the world around me. I addressed local issues around healthy eating at schools and female youth such as teen pregnancy and self-image. The collaborative projects were new to me because I have always done things individually but I enjoyed being a part of a team, sharing insight. When challenged, I have become a better problem-solver with the ability to think critically. I had the opportunity to network with the girls and community leaders enhancing my communication skills to form supportive relationships. Girls Inc. provided me a positive environment that I needed most and helped me develop into a more confident and head-strong person without any doubt in all that is possible.

mtph 2 / 5  
Nov 29, 2011   #2
The collaborative projects were new to me because I have always done things individually but I enjoyed being a part of a team, sharing insight.

You should elaborate on this a little more. What else did you enjoy about working on a team?

Try adding in some specific examples to support your claims. That always helps! :)


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