'I don't give up' University of Texas at Austin Transfer Essay- SOP Topic A

Hi. I plan to transfer to the University of Texas. The attached essay is topic A which is a statement of purpose. Here is the prompt. Word count for my essay is 757.

Thank you.

Ever since I was very young, civil projects such as building and road construction have mesmerized me, and I have always wanted know more about the process of how

civil projects are constructed. Growing up as a child, drawing structures and building them with Legos was one of my favorite hobbies. I can remember the excitement I

had waking up in the morning and running straight to the Lego structures deciding on how to build a certain structure and the daydreams I had of imagining the structure

actually being built in real life. During my adolescence, I became more curious about the process about how civil projects were created by watching documentaries on TV

and observing different construction sites in my city. During the summer before my junior year in high school, I had volunteered for the city of Plano, Texas engineering

department. This experience helped me learn more about civil engineering through conversations with other engineers working there and through a field trip conducted by

a civil engineer. I knew that my interest in anything related to civil and construction projects is my true passion I would want to pursue and decided that I wanted to become

a civil engineer. Civil engineering is my dream career because I will be able to utilize my talents in many ways while having a career that I like to do. Eventually in the future

my goal is to work for companies that help improve infrastructure in poorer places. Helping people who are less fortunate has always made me feel good knowing that the

people who I helped have a better lifestyle than they had before.

Since the fall of 2012, I have been attending the Whittacre College of Engineering at Texas Tech University in Lubbock, Texas as a civil engineering major. I am

deciding to transfer to the Cockrell School of Engineering at the University of Texas at Austin because I had applied during my senior year in high school but did not get in.

UT had always been the university I had always wanted to go to even before I picked my major so I was disappointed at first. So I decided to stay at Texas Tech for two

years as an alternative and take as many courses that could transfer to UT while maintaining a good GPA. My goal at Texas Tech was to establish a foundation in my

studies by getting used to the college lifestyle and rigorous engineering curriculum. Since UT was the school I had initially aimed to get into, I had decided to set a goal for

myself to work really hard and transfer to UT. After touring the UT campus, I fell in love with it and saw how nice the facilities for students were. I loved how it is situated in

a more urban environment and conveniently located near Austin's downtown area, however I am transferring for mainly academic purposes. I believe transferring to UT will

be a good decision for me because it has a higher-ranked engineering program and provides a more competitive academic environment. UT offers many opportunities for

me as an undergraduate student because of the wonderful campus life and caring faculty. UT has more student organizations that appeal to my interests that I would like to

be a part of and have a leadership position in. One of the things I look forward to in college the most is studying abroad because it is important for me to gain international

experience to stand out. In UT there are much more places to study abroad for civil engineering students such as the Cockrell School of Engineering faculty-led program

called Project for Underserved Communities in Papua New Guinea.

I will do as best as I can to transfer into the Cockrell School of Engineering at UT Austin. Attending the rest of my college education at UT will allow me to grow as an

aspiring engineer and mold me into a harder working individual. I am willing to put as much effort as I can to do well in my studies at UT and be involved in various student

organizations that UT offers. I want to make a difference on campus and do as much as I can as a student to contribute to UT. Being accepted into UT Austin's engineering

program will be a rewarding experience for me. It will help me know that my perseverance to get into UT Austin was well worth it and will help me feel proud of myself that I

did not give up.

This is supposed to be "wanted to know"


pursue, and


Remove eventually, and say My goal in the future is to ...

Great Job, it's really showing your dreams in life, but I think that the reader kind of gets bored while reading this because it's really lengthy,, I'm not a pro in editing essays but I'm just saying my opinion. Maybe you should cut off some words that aren't that necessary.

Still, GREAT JOB! :)

Thanks for the correction and tips. I'll try to make the essay more exciting then.

.... I feel it's better you started your response with this line. It explains how your passion began. Your experiences talk more than the statements you make. Your SOP is the best chance for the admission guys to know about you as a person and don't miss that opportunity to tell them who you, what you like to do etc.