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GMSP. My passion for history



Lydia 6 / 10  
Jan 11, 2010   #1
Discuss the subjects with which you had difficulty. What factors do you believe contributed to your difficulties? How have you dealt with them so they will not cause problems for you again? In what areas have you experienced with the greatest improvement? What problem areas remain?

History has always been a course in which I have struggled with the most. It was never an intriguing for me. "Why are we studying events that we are never going to use in our life"? I could not perceive the importance of learning history.

History was a stressful and uninteresting subject. I mean the history of man's evolution, the creation of the universe, the star s, and the solar system was a bit fascinating to me. I asked myself "how can we as human beings benefit our current life by reading and studying about elapsed European events, colonialism, and how things became what they are. History I would say is a trial of the reminiscence. It is a cause of enormous stress to students, stress which has pushed many students to the wall. Since I didn't find history interesting, I struggled through my classes. I would always get exhausted and frustrated trying study for my history exams and quizzes.

Due to my lack of enthusiasm is my classes I struggled wit my classes until I my freshmen year. Dr. Hills was my history teacher. She was tough but she had a real passion towards history. As time went by her passion rubbed off on her students including me. Those of us who hated history started liking it and those liked it started loving it. She remained us that history was connected and without the past there would not be any future. She helped me make sense of history by making me understand that the past makes the future and makes us who we are, how personally history applies to me and that they were people just like me. As I learn more and more about the history of the United States, the world, the problems, how situations were recognized, violence, poverty and how most problems where dealt with. Through her I came to realize the importance of the past. It changed my whole reaction towards history to affection.

My realization developed into enthusiasm for the subject I detested. Now, whenever I find myself unconcerned toward a subject, I remember to find the importance of the subject to me and how helpful it will be to better at it. I cannot find the time to learn more about the people who made the past what it is and the future what is going to be. Finding the time to learn everything about history is now my one predicament.

CollegeGirl321 1 / 1  
Jan 11, 2010   #2
Hi Lydia. Your essay informs the reader of your previous dislike for History yet your essay lacks enough momentum of your new-found interest in the subject. Perhaps you could describe your knowledge of the World and how it has helped you grow as a person. Link your experiences with history and your opinion of it to your personal growth. This will show the College that not only are you doing better in your school subjects but you are more insightful of the World around you and perhaps more open minded to learning new subjects.

History has always been a course in which I have struggled with the most . It never intrigued me . "Why are we studying events that we are never going to use in our life?" I could not perceive the importance of learning history.

Overall, I think you may want to check your grammar in some of these sentences and you should try to add more complex wording. Try not to use make so often too.

I really hope I helped and gave you some useful advice!
I'd appreciate it if you could help me with my essay too :)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Jan 17, 2010   #3
Nadine made some very important corrections. Use those to improve your writing. I also think you should add a sentence or two to that first paragraph so that it is longer. That first paragraph is supposed to introduce the most important idea of the whole essay. Do not just tell the story; pause at the end of the first paragraph to confidently state the thesis statement, the main theme for the whole essay.

After you give the thesis sentence at the end of that first para, it will be reinforced by al that you say with the rest of the essay.

:-)
gbee 3 / 3  
Jan 18, 2010   #4
"I mean the history of man's evolution, the creation of the universe, the star s, and the solar system was a bit fascinating to me."

You need to write in a more formal manner! The phrase "I mean," can only work AGAINST you! And I don't think you should say "a bit fascinating" because the word "fascinating" implies an extreme emotion.


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