Hi,
Here is my essay for Yale. Please criticize for any grammar mistakes or if the content needs adjustment! Thanks!!
In this required second essay, tell us something that you would like us to know about you that we might not get from the rest of your application - or something that you would like a chance to say more about. Please limit your essay to fewer than 500 words.
Compared to my other extracurricular activities, golf is a major component of my life. A three year member of my high school's golf team, I was fortunate enough to be chosen as the captain of the Junior Varsity golf team. This position on the golf team encouraged me to be mindful of others, to look for opportunities for improvement, and to develop a positive outlook in all life situations. Following what I have learned from my position in the golf team, I decided to improve the quality of life for some while contributing back to my school by starting my first club. With my school's motto, "men and women with and for others," at heart, I started the Golf Outing Club.
The Golf Outing club offers students, who had never played golf or were cut from the team, the opportunity to engage in the sport and to volunteer for organizations, like the First Tee of San Francisco. After leading this club for several months, I realized that maintaining it will be challenging. Without any experience in club affairs, I had trouble keeping in touch with my members and keeping track of club events, such as golf outings and volunteering opportunities. To keep members constantly informed about club events, I started a group page on Facebook and created a club webpage. Furthermore, I had to make sure that the price for the round of golf is right for every participant before our outings to golf courses. Keeping this in mind, I stepped out of my comfort zone to negotiate with golf course managers for group discounts. In addition to having outings to golf courses, our club offers volunteering opportunities to the First Tee program. At the First Tee program, group members would help students form their moral characteristics while teaching the game of golf. Besides volunteering, we also host fundraising events, like bake sales, at our school to help out the First Tee program. Some of the money from these fundraisers is used to purchase golf items, like putting mats, for us to use while volunteering for other organizations, like the St. Anne's Senior Residence. During outings to St. Anne's, we would accompany the senior residents and engage in golf-related activities, like putting, with them. Forming this club helped me build a sense of accomplishment and pride in giving back to the school and to the community.
Leading my Golf Outing Club was a remarkable experience that helped me develop my leadership, responsibility, and time management skills. This opportunity has guided the development of my hard working and independent lifestyle. Today, I continue to utilize these skills to benefit my everyday life and my club's growth. With what I have accomplished as the president of my club, I feel inspired to continue to give back and to work hard so that I can achieve my pursuit of my ultimate dream: to become a successful member of society who is also able to make a difference in my community.
Here is my essay for Yale. Please criticize for any grammar mistakes or if the content needs adjustment! Thanks!!
In this required second essay, tell us something that you would like us to know about you that we might not get from the rest of your application - or something that you would like a chance to say more about. Please limit your essay to fewer than 500 words.
Compared to my other extracurricular activities, golf is a major component of my life. A three year member of my high school's golf team, I was fortunate enough to be chosen as the captain of the Junior Varsity golf team. This position on the golf team encouraged me to be mindful of others, to look for opportunities for improvement, and to develop a positive outlook in all life situations. Following what I have learned from my position in the golf team, I decided to improve the quality of life for some while contributing back to my school by starting my first club. With my school's motto, "men and women with and for others," at heart, I started the Golf Outing Club.
The Golf Outing club offers students, who had never played golf or were cut from the team, the opportunity to engage in the sport and to volunteer for organizations, like the First Tee of San Francisco. After leading this club for several months, I realized that maintaining it will be challenging. Without any experience in club affairs, I had trouble keeping in touch with my members and keeping track of club events, such as golf outings and volunteering opportunities. To keep members constantly informed about club events, I started a group page on Facebook and created a club webpage. Furthermore, I had to make sure that the price for the round of golf is right for every participant before our outings to golf courses. Keeping this in mind, I stepped out of my comfort zone to negotiate with golf course managers for group discounts. In addition to having outings to golf courses, our club offers volunteering opportunities to the First Tee program. At the First Tee program, group members would help students form their moral characteristics while teaching the game of golf. Besides volunteering, we also host fundraising events, like bake sales, at our school to help out the First Tee program. Some of the money from these fundraisers is used to purchase golf items, like putting mats, for us to use while volunteering for other organizations, like the St. Anne's Senior Residence. During outings to St. Anne's, we would accompany the senior residents and engage in golf-related activities, like putting, with them. Forming this club helped me build a sense of accomplishment and pride in giving back to the school and to the community.
Leading my Golf Outing Club was a remarkable experience that helped me develop my leadership, responsibility, and time management skills. This opportunity has guided the development of my hard working and independent lifestyle. Today, I continue to utilize these skills to benefit my everyday life and my club's growth. With what I have accomplished as the president of my club, I feel inspired to continue to give back and to work hard so that I can achieve my pursuit of my ultimate dream: to become a successful member of society who is also able to make a difference in my community.
