Hi guys,
Can you guys help provide me some feedback (constructive criticisms, suggestions, etc.)? Thanks! I really appreciate it!
The prompt: Tell us about a person who has influenced you in a significant way.
My answer:
People often ask me how I got started on computer programming. My answer was that it all started naturally - out of interest. This interest, though, was kindled by my grandpa.
He used to take me to art lessons when I was four (this was before I came to the United States). It was these art lessons that induced my interest in computers. Despite enjoying the fact that I was creating all sorts of amateur artworks that my grandpa displayed proudly on his walls, I was often frustrated with the fact that if an error was made, it could not be undone (I was working with pastels). Then I discovered Paint. The possibility of hitting an "Undo" button to erase any mistake forever attracted me to the world of computers.
When I went back to China during fourth grade, my grandpa introduced me to PowerPoint's Action features. My grandpa loves photography and creates PowerPoints of photos all the time. Even today, he would time after time send me slideshows, of recent trips or as a birthday present. His slideshows sometimes had a button specifically for starting the slideshow. This button would be created using an Action event. With this new tool, a whole new world of PowerPoint and computers was opened to me. I could now not only create static images, but also allow for others to interact with the images - it allowed for interactive entertainment.
That was when I created my first video game, made with PowerPoint. It was a simple maze game played by moving the cursor through a series of mazes. If the player's cursor touched a wall, it would be game over. If the player's cursor reached the finish point, the slideshow would jump to a new level or to a "You Won!" slide.
With the pride and satisfaction I felt when I showed the maze game to my family as well as the praise and encouragement of my grandpa, I was drawn to acquire new skills in programming. I was curious as to how computer code worked and was attracted by its "virtually" boundless possibilities. More importantly, I enjoyed the feelings of success after completing a project or grasping a new technique. After I came back to the United States, I began reading a collection of books on programming and creating my first multiplayer video games and websites. Later, I would delve into experimental programming and online communications networks. Despite branching out my expertise in computer science through self-motivated exploration, at its root, my interest in programming was inspired by my grandpa and his love for art and photography.
Hi,
Nice essay, but You have a tendency to repeat the same words again and again ;) For example here: "player's cursor touched a wall, it would be game over. If the player's cursor" It looks bad. Try using synonyms ;)
People often ask me how I got started on computer programming.
.... how I got attracted to computer programming.My answer was that it all started naturally - out of interest.
... this one is a bit tricky.... I doubt this adds much value to what you've written :( I guess you can go straight to the next idea without this : )
He used to take me to art lessons when I was four (this was before I came to the United States).
I still remember walking to my Chinese art class with him before we migrated to the USA.