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"my grandparents' home in Jordan" - a place you feel content; Personal statement for CPW



OneFiveTwo 1 / 1  
Aug 28, 2014   #1
"Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?"

The place I feel most content would be at my grandparents' home in Jordan. My grandparents have a four story building where my uncles and aunts live or stay when they visit. I like my grandparents' place best because all my family is there. I love when at dinner time the whole family gathers together. Rephrase the following sentence: The grown ups sit around a large wooden table together while the younger children go and sit at separate smaller tables. The house's scenery is beautiful since all around the house is a huge garden with grapes, peaches, apples, and more. The house also has a rooftop where you can see the stars clearly, me and my family would sit there when the weather was right. The house is surrounded by animals, pigeons, cats, dogs, and sometimes snakes. Unlike other houses, my grandparents' house does not have internet, which makes it more natural and beautiful. When everyone is there, all my cousins, uncles, and aunts, my grandparents' house becomes extremely lively with all kinds of chatter and laughter. It's a complete joy for everyone in the family, young or old. Generally, after dinner, we all surround the TV, imagine a small TV surrounded by nearly Twenty people. We all would watch some movie together or just anything interesting that we see on TV, and everyone would chime in making hilarious remarks while everyone laughed together at the remarks. Sometimes we all would just play silly games or talk about how everyone is, which would also turn out to be a laugh. My grandparents' house is a complete social light and I completely love being there. There are always jokes and laughter when I visit. Although I have moved away from them now, whenever I remember them, I remember the beautiful huge house that they lived in and that I would play around as a child with my cousins and siblings. The most specific spot I like there was the rooftop, where I would sit on the wall just looking at everything below and above. To the left of the rooftop is a mountain range that reaches the sky, while up ahead you could see their garden from above and all the other houses and markets. From the right you can see the hill that my grandparent house lies on. I liked to stay on the rooftop throughout the night, watching the stars or sometimes just sleeping up there. Although most of the time it was to cold to even be up on the rooftop, when it wasn't, it was the most pleasant place you could be at the time. I learned a bunch of lessons from being there at my grandparent's house, like how to be more social. I used to sit around my friends just listening to their conversations and laughing but now I chime in and make jokes with them. I was taught how to take care of a garden and grow different kinds of plants, and sometimes I'd help my grandfather out with his job and learn from him as he is a carpenter, but mostly I would just watch him and try to learn from watching. When I go back to Jordan for vacation, I'd love to visit my grandparents' house again and just sit on the rooftop with everyone in my family, laughing together and having a great deal of fun.

vangiespen - / 4077  
Aug 28, 2014   #2
Rephrase the following sentence: The grown ups sit around a large wooden table together while the younger children go and sit at separate smaller tables.

- The grown ups would gather for the meal around a large wooden table while the younger children would go sit at a separate smaller table adjacent to the large wooden table

You have written an essay in an almost native speaker tongue. That is something that I commend you for. You thoroughly understood the prompt and answered it quite imaginatively. Your description of the events that unfold at your parents house springs to life in the imagination of the reader. Another good thing about this essay is that you went further and explained the lessons that you learned there, which gives further credibility as to why you would truly feel safe and content at your grandparent's house. I rephrased the sentence that you asked to be rephrased. I hope it works for you.

Keep up the good work. This is a very good essay paper. You should be proud of your work :-)
OP OneFiveTwo 1 / 1  
Aug 28, 2014   #3
Thank you very much, that was very helpful of you :)


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