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"hard working student" - What will you bring to the University of Wisconsin?



egold 1 / 1  
Nov 19, 2010   #1
Prompt:The University values an educational environment that provides all members of the campus community with opportunities to grow and develop intellectually, personally, culturally and socially. In order to give us a more complete picture of you as an individual, please tell us about the particular life experiences, perspectives, talents, commitments and/or interests you will bring to our campus. In other words, how will your presence enrich our community?

NEED OPINIONS!

I am extremely close with my family, and one thing my parents love to do is travel. I have been lucky enough to take trips all over the world with my parents and my brothers, and experience different cultures and languages. Traveling with my family is not as luxurious as it may sound. Although we do go to nice places, my parents put a great emphasis on our trips about learning how other people live, experiencing foreign cultures and trying new things. My journeys has motivated my interested in meeting people not just from around the United States but from around the world. I embrace moving to a new place, not only for the freedom and education that college will bring, but for the huge array of people who will come from all over the country, and the world to join me in a new community. I look forward to connecting with as many people as I can as I embark on my adult life, in a quest to continue to grow and develop into someone I will be proud to become.

My interests are all over the place, from helping the environment to creating the layout for this schools year's yearbook. Although I hope to study communication arts at Wisconsin, I don't want to limit myself to just that. In college I plan on joining different clubs and intramurals in order to meet to people and experience different activities. I have always pushed myself to be the hard working student I am today, and I hope to bring my experiences with me to Wisconsin. My cultural and upbringing has taught me to be a hard working student. I trust that my traits will help me be a great contribution to the university. By joining the community at Wisconsin look forward excelling in my schoolwork, becoming a part of community and teaching others of my experiences I have had with different cultures all over the world. With all the reflection, and awareness that I have learned from my travels, I am sure that I can grow not only myself but also University of Wisconsin-Madison and its community.

theAbraham 3 / 16  
Nov 19, 2010   #2
In general, this is a very safe, very common essay; it's generic, but it shows that you do in fact have something to contribute to the Wisconsin community. I highly recommend you don't just settle for this version of the essay. I know Wisconsin-Madison's application deadline is pretty far of, so you should have plenty of time to revise it.

My recommendation is to take a step back, and think a little outside the box. Many, many students are in close knit families, have traveled the world, and have experienced different cultures (America is a melting pot, so you don't need to go far to bump into another culture.) Write about a particular, unique life experience that only Emily Gold has experienced, and only Emily Gold can contribute to Wisconsin. Be honest with yourself, and offer the admission officers something that's truly valuable. If well traveled students were a dime a dozen, would you actually perceive value in adding them to your student body?


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