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Hardworking - My UBC Personal profile- Tell us about who you are.



LilDavy 1 / -  
Oct 11, 2021   #1
MY FIRST TIME WRITING A COLLEGE ESSAY, PLEASE HELP ME!!!

How People Perceive me?



Whenever you ask any of my friends to describe me, the first thing that comes up to them is probably my sense of humor. In fact, in every group that I'm involved in, I'm always the one that hypes everybody up with my jokes whenever the atmosphere is getting strained and to help the other members feel more relaxed when working with me, and this is also the reason why many people find me quite easy and comfortable to talk to. Additionally, I also acquired a reputation as a creative person since I have "saved" my team's works many times with my "crazy" ideas, and honestly, I must admit that I'm really happy about it.

However, in my parents' eyes, I'm an absolutely different child. They say that I'm such a quiet person because there were many times that I didn't talk to them for a whole day, but I have to say that I'm not really comfortable when sharing my stories with adults, even if they are my parents, as I believe that there are problems of my generation that they just can't understand. Besides, they also describe me as a determined as well as a hard-working person and these characteristics are what I'm proud of myself the most. During my days at secondary school, my results were always the last in my class, and this made my parents feel extremely disappointed, but everything has changed since I decided to apply for the top high school in my province. Despite my parents' and teachers' objections, I still put all my time and effort into studying, with a strong belief in my abilities. As a result, I successfully passed the school's entrance test with 35.25 points in total, ranking 22nd out of 90 students, and this unbelievable achievement has completely changed my parents, teachers, and even my friends' attitudes towards me forever.

I appreciate any feedback on my answer. Thank you all in advance.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15383  
Oct 12, 2021   #2
Additionally

I believe that this section should be the main focus of the section because it implies a type of preparedness for college. Incorporate your humor into thenew focus instead. The humor part is nice to know, but does not illustrate how you may function as a college student. The humor can be inserted in the

"crazy" ideas

reference.

I didn't talk to them for a whole day, ...they just can't understand.

Wow! Too much negative sentiment in this presentation. It also implies a rejection of authority,which could prove to be a problem as a dorm resident or class situation later on. This is not something that the reviewer will readily accept. It would be better to avoid this reference. Find another relationship with them to refer to.

Despite my parents' and teachers' objections

Avoid implications of rebelliousness. Reframe the presentation.


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