Revise yours if you revise mine!
Looking for reviews in content, and grammatical issues. I'll gladly revise yours if you leave me a link to your prompt, and revise mine of course.
Prompt #1
Last December, the most exciting thing I could ever imagine happened! I finally got my ticket to freedom, this being my drivers license. After months of practicing with my brother, studying for the exam, and convincing my parents... it happened! My dad followed through and got me my dream car, the 2003 Volkswagen Passat GLS in black with tinted windows. After the first couple days of complete bliss, reality set in.
To make extra money for gas, I took up a job at my family's business. Every weekend I wake up at 6 am to open the doors to my parent's car dealership because my older brother who work there, wants to sleep in. Then my dad would come out and talk to me about my future in the family business. I usually try to keep busy doing just about anything to avoid this repetitive conversation. Around midday, my mom relieves me of working at the shop. But only to go home and chauffer my younger sisters around. This is my life as the "middle" child. Working at the dealership was a chore but it taught me some insight about life. I gained experience in why leadership skills are worthwhile, how to work with people, and why organization is an asset.
My parents arrived in America as Vietnamese immigrants in 1979. I was born the fourth child out of six children. My two older sisters pursed the highest level of education and graduated with doctorate degrees while my older brother never finished high school. My eldest sister is a dentist. My second oldest sister followed in her footstep and is a doctor, currently completing her residency in New Jersey. My older brother is seven years older than me, works for my parents, and still lives at home. He often talks about opening his own business or moving out and living in his own house. But I have yet to see any of it. I look up to my brother but I cannot help but wonder how he will change his circumstance. As I observe my older siblings, there are two paths clearly presented before me. My sisters who have attained a high level of education have achieved conventional success. While my brother who have not, is not considered successful by most peoples' standards. From what I can see, the path my brother chose to go on is obviously different than my sisters, which resulted in him having more road blocks in his life. With two perspectives laid out before me, it would be easy just to pick one path or the other. But even though I am the middle child, I still would like to have my own ideas of what my life should be like.
During the summer of 2009, I went to New Jersey to spend time with my sister. Most of it was interesting and entertaining, however the most memorable experience I had was when I shadowed my sister while she was working at the hospital. I was able to follow her as she worked. I witnessed her save the lives of a couple people, but on that night, she was unable to recover the life of one unfortunate person. I remember observing the look on the faces of the family she had to present the bad news to. I remembered my own experience with grief from losing my grandmother, so I can sympathized with what they were feeling. I remember thinking why she had to be the one to tell them. But I knew the answer. It was her duty and responsibility as the treating physician. I felt proud because she had so much courage. It was through this experience that gave me inspiration. I started thinking about my own path in life rather then just following blindly in my sibling's footstep. I realized that I want to pursue a career that would benefit myself and others. In order to accomplish this goal, my chosen path is to continue my education and to go to college.
Most people never really get to see their life played out until they have lived it. Even though I have my own ideas on how I want to live my life, I feel that just by looking at my older siblings, I have gained insight as to where having and not having a higher education can benefit me. I realized that having an education leads to greater opportunity and is my real ticket to freedom.
Prompt #2
Throughout my life I have showed many traits, however the most important qualities I posses would be competitiveness, understanding, and dedication. Since elementary school I have always competed against my peers. I competed with them academically in science, math, games, and various other subjects. While other children worked on growing plants, I was making my own handheld fan out of corks, rubber bands, and straws. When the accelerated math was accessible by our school and everybody could learn at their own pace, I would always be chapters ahead of other students. To beat my cousins and friends in strategic games like chess and checkers, I would practice for hours against a computer. I've always had a natural talent for understanding how things worked. When a vcr, TV, or computer didn't work in my house, I was always able to fix it. If there were any subject I could not understand, I would look for the answer. Whether it was online or in a manual, I always found an answer. These qualities have always assisted me in any issues I have had. In 9th grade I was failing Biology because I had never taken a class such as it before, however through dedication I eventually understood the subject by studying for days before a test. In 11th grade I made a Van Der Graaf generator, a higher end physics project for high school students, from basic parts found at home. I am proud of my traits because they have caused me to succeed thus far, it has also made me complete tasks not only quickly but with great quality. I know these qualities can assist me as I study in the healthcare industry, and throughout the rest of my life.
Looking for reviews in content, and grammatical issues. I'll gladly revise yours if you leave me a link to your prompt, and revise mine of course.
Prompt #1
Last December, the most exciting thing I could ever imagine happened! I finally got my ticket to freedom, this being my drivers license. After months of practicing with my brother, studying for the exam, and convincing my parents... it happened! My dad followed through and got me my dream car, the 2003 Volkswagen Passat GLS in black with tinted windows. After the first couple days of complete bliss, reality set in.
To make extra money for gas, I took up a job at my family's business. Every weekend I wake up at 6 am to open the doors to my parent's car dealership because my older brother who work there, wants to sleep in. Then my dad would come out and talk to me about my future in the family business. I usually try to keep busy doing just about anything to avoid this repetitive conversation. Around midday, my mom relieves me of working at the shop. But only to go home and chauffer my younger sisters around. This is my life as the "middle" child. Working at the dealership was a chore but it taught me some insight about life. I gained experience in why leadership skills are worthwhile, how to work with people, and why organization is an asset.
My parents arrived in America as Vietnamese immigrants in 1979. I was born the fourth child out of six children. My two older sisters pursed the highest level of education and graduated with doctorate degrees while my older brother never finished high school. My eldest sister is a dentist. My second oldest sister followed in her footstep and is a doctor, currently completing her residency in New Jersey. My older brother is seven years older than me, works for my parents, and still lives at home. He often talks about opening his own business or moving out and living in his own house. But I have yet to see any of it. I look up to my brother but I cannot help but wonder how he will change his circumstance. As I observe my older siblings, there are two paths clearly presented before me. My sisters who have attained a high level of education have achieved conventional success. While my brother who have not, is not considered successful by most peoples' standards. From what I can see, the path my brother chose to go on is obviously different than my sisters, which resulted in him having more road blocks in his life. With two perspectives laid out before me, it would be easy just to pick one path or the other. But even though I am the middle child, I still would like to have my own ideas of what my life should be like.
During the summer of 2009, I went to New Jersey to spend time with my sister. Most of it was interesting and entertaining, however the most memorable experience I had was when I shadowed my sister while she was working at the hospital. I was able to follow her as she worked. I witnessed her save the lives of a couple people, but on that night, she was unable to recover the life of one unfortunate person. I remember observing the look on the faces of the family she had to present the bad news to. I remembered my own experience with grief from losing my grandmother, so I can sympathized with what they were feeling. I remember thinking why she had to be the one to tell them. But I knew the answer. It was her duty and responsibility as the treating physician. I felt proud because she had so much courage. It was through this experience that gave me inspiration. I started thinking about my own path in life rather then just following blindly in my sibling's footstep. I realized that I want to pursue a career that would benefit myself and others. In order to accomplish this goal, my chosen path is to continue my education and to go to college.
Most people never really get to see their life played out until they have lived it. Even though I have my own ideas on how I want to live my life, I feel that just by looking at my older siblings, I have gained insight as to where having and not having a higher education can benefit me. I realized that having an education leads to greater opportunity and is my real ticket to freedom.
Prompt #2
Throughout my life I have showed many traits, however the most important qualities I posses would be competitiveness, understanding, and dedication. Since elementary school I have always competed against my peers. I competed with them academically in science, math, games, and various other subjects. While other children worked on growing plants, I was making my own handheld fan out of corks, rubber bands, and straws. When the accelerated math was accessible by our school and everybody could learn at their own pace, I would always be chapters ahead of other students. To beat my cousins and friends in strategic games like chess and checkers, I would practice for hours against a computer. I've always had a natural talent for understanding how things worked. When a vcr, TV, or computer didn't work in my house, I was always able to fix it. If there were any subject I could not understand, I would look for the answer. Whether it was online or in a manual, I always found an answer. These qualities have always assisted me in any issues I have had. In 9th grade I was failing Biology because I had never taken a class such as it before, however through dedication I eventually understood the subject by studying for days before a test. In 11th grade I made a Van Der Graaf generator, a higher end physics project for high school students, from basic parts found at home. I am proud of my traits because they have caused me to succeed thus far, it has also made me complete tasks not only quickly but with great quality. I know these qualities can assist me as I study in the healthcare industry, and throughout the rest of my life.