Here is my slightly edited version for UIUC's activities prompt. Could somebody please take a look at it and tell me what they think? Thanks!
"Choose one extracurricular activity, work experience or community service project from the list you provided on the application and explain why you initially chose it, why you continued with it, and how you benefited from it."
High school basketball is just one of the aspects of high school life that I will remember forever. For five of the seven years I lived in Hong Kong I was on my school's basketball team. As a lifelong sports fan, I immediately pounced on the opportunity early in middle school to join a sports team that I truly had a passion for. Hailing from the Great White North of Canada, I had a love for hockey but being in Hong Kong completely ruled out its existence.
When our very first practices were held, nobody even knew how to shoot a basketball properly, but we have come a long way since then. It was a long, arduous journey, but last year we finally earned the title of regional champions. Everyone exploded with emotion at the sound of the final buzzer as we noisily celebrated our victory. We realized that hard work does eventually pay its dividends; our determination and perseverance had brought us success. As a team we had no one else to thank but each other and perhaps most importantly, our coach. It was not an obligation for him to coach our team yet he had not once given up on us. No matter the score, we were to treat every game as a learning experience. Most importantly, we learned to distinguish between playing to fight and playing to win. That day, we played to win.
For my teammates, the journey would not end there, but for me it would. Two months after our victory, my family relocated back to Toronto and it was then that I reflected on the friendships and bonds I had formed with my teammates. It's amazing how, simply by playing basketball together, these friendships have transformed into relationships that will forever have their own reserved place in my heart.
"Choose one extracurricular activity, work experience or community service project from the list you provided on the application and explain why you initially chose it, why you continued with it, and how you benefited from it."
High school basketball is just one of the aspects of high school life that I will remember forever. For five of the seven years I lived in Hong Kong I was on my school's basketball team. As a lifelong sports fan, I immediately pounced on the opportunity early in middle school to join a sports team that I truly had a passion for. Hailing from the Great White North of Canada, I had a love for hockey but being in Hong Kong completely ruled out its existence.
When our very first practices were held, nobody even knew how to shoot a basketball properly, but we have come a long way since then. It was a long, arduous journey, but last year we finally earned the title of regional champions. Everyone exploded with emotion at the sound of the final buzzer as we noisily celebrated our victory. We realized that hard work does eventually pay its dividends; our determination and perseverance had brought us success. As a team we had no one else to thank but each other and perhaps most importantly, our coach. It was not an obligation for him to coach our team yet he had not once given up on us. No matter the score, we were to treat every game as a learning experience. Most importantly, we learned to distinguish between playing to fight and playing to win. That day, we played to win.
For my teammates, the journey would not end there, but for me it would. Two months after our victory, my family relocated back to Toronto and it was then that I reflected on the friendships and bonds I had formed with my teammates. It's amazing how, simply by playing basketball together, these friendships have transformed into relationships that will forever have their own reserved place in my heart.
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