ESSAY #1:In an essay of 300 words or less, write about how your personal or academic interests relate to your intellectual or professional goals.
I don't think I've ever "discovered" nature. It has always been there guiding me, like a silent light behind a forest of manmade trees. Granted, living in one of the largest cities in the United States didn't make it easy, but by discovering new aspects of nature through friends, community programs, and classes at school, "nature" has allowed me to explore different career paths, interests, and meet new people. My school provided the catalyst for me with specialized and interdisciplinary programs in that allowed subjects to be kept together as a natural facet of a learning community. This type of academic community provided a base that steered me towards an interest especially for the arts (photography, graphic design, and material design) and the natural sciences (environmental studies, biology).
Ultimately, I found that the Environmental Sciences is what brings all of my interests together. It's about finding creative, even artistic, solutions to an ever-changing world; using math and statistics to quantify expanding, contracting landscapes, using language to aptly communicate ideas, and convincing others to bring their ideas, skills, and tools to work together. Nature is inherent to all the people on this planet. It is a subject everyone can talk about, and inevitably brings people together, discovering new pieces of what we call life. My endeavor for discovery and creative challenges has placed my personal and professional goals in studying urban planning and environmental studies.
any help would be appreciated!
thanks!
This is just my opinion but I don't think you should do the parentheses thing for the subjects. "(photography, graphic design, and material design)." It seems kinda useless.
I like your second paragraph. I think it's good that you talk about your perception on this major.
And sorry, I'm not too good with grammar. I don't see any mistakes.
Thought I would change ever to truly in the first sentence. Or completely redo the first sentence.
and meet new people.
My school was thecatalyst because they offered a variety of specialized and interdisciplinary programs, whichallowed subjects to be studied together as one subject/discipline.-not too sure, but work on it :)
This type of academic community provided a base that steered me towards an interest especially for in the arts (photography, graphic design, and material design) and the natural sciences (environmental studies, biology).-the () may not be necessary...I'm pretty sure the admin people know their subjects or at least the general field
Remember: try to keep your tenses the same throughout!
The last paragraph is good, but it is kind of vague or its more awkwardly worded. Try reworking the wording in the last paragraph. It has potential, but sometimes its gets too long and complicated. Go easy on the commas!
overall, good content definitely, but just work on the flow and its going to very very well. Best of luck!!
Thanks guys, I'll definitely put those into account.
I'll repost when I'm done.
UIUC Illinois - Emerson, Nature, Art Essay (due today, just opinions?)
Critisism, Edits, Syntax suggestions, Diction suggestions...
or just Opinions will do.
Help please!!!
Thanks!
I separated the paragraphs more so you can read it better.
(*HINT HINT* ESSAYFORUM SHOULD GET A PARAGRAPH SPACING OPTION)
ESSAY #1: In an essay of 300 words or less, write about how your personal or academic interests relate to your intellectual or professional goals.
"Let us interrogate the great apparition, that shines so peacefully around us. Let us inquire, to what end is nature?" -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nature has always been a guiding light for me. Granted, living in one of the most urban cities in the United States didn't make it easy but behind this forest of man-made furniture, I discovered pieces of nature through friends, community programs, and classes at school. Furthermore, the subject has allowed me to explore different career paths, interests, and meet new people. My school provided the catalyst for me with specialized and interdisciplinary programs that allowed subjects to be kept together as an instinctive facet of a learning community. This type of academia provided a base that steered me towards an interest especially for the arts and the natural sciences.
Ultimately, I found that the Environmental Sciences is what brings all of my interests together. It's about finding creative, even artistic, solutions to an ever-evolving world; using math and statistics to quantify expanding, contracting landscapes; using language to aptly communicate ideas, and convincing others to bring their ideas, skills, and tools to work together.
Nature is inherent to all the people on this planet, but we need to find ways to become native to the Earth again. Whether it be forests, farms, farm animals, or simply family, it is a subject everyone can talk about, and inevitably brings people together, discovering new pieces of what we call life. My endeavor is to help the world find its place not against nature, but alongside it. I wish to find my medium to light the path to discover and create change in post-secondary education.
ESSAY #2: In an essay of 300 words or less, choose one extracurricular activity, work experience or community service project from the list you provided on the application and explain why you initially chose it, why you continued with it, and how you benefited from it.
I stood before a great gateway when I first interviewed for Gallery 37, although I didn't know it then. Huddling my portfolio on a breezy Spring morning, I decided to go to Gallery as a testing ground for a new form of communication.
Since then, I have challenged myself to try photography, screen printing, graphic and even furniture design.
I kept coming back to Gallery every season for it provided great positive effect on my mental health. I became more able to focus on school, and my grades flourished for that reason. Furthermore, I made friends with students and teachers, which provided a network of inspiration and creativity. It was a "work experience" in that we were paid a small stipend at the end of the seasonal program, but for me, it was so much more than just a job.
Through the program, I learned about visual psychology, composition, and among other things, how to communicate visually, and physically. As a team, we created pieces for corporate companies looking for young talent in the city, and sold some of our work through the Gallery store. The program's ethics opened my eyes to the artistic world around me and I was able to appreciate my city that provided direct support and initiation to many underprivileged kids, so that we were able to discover a creative niche for ourselves.
Through Gallery, I learned that anything is possible if you look hard enough and become decisive enough to travel out of our comfort zone. I learned then that I wanted to create: not just art for the sake of art, but to show to others that there are people in every bit of society that create the community they live in.
I like the essays..
im just a little confused about the first sentence of the second essay...
other than that...they are good!
Please read my essay: Univ of Illinois- HELP!
thanks;)
Yes, I think you are right that we should make it so that you can paste essays in here in a way that shows the paragraphs!! For now, though, just keep separating the individually...
Ultimately, I found that the Environmental Sciences represent a culmination of all of my interests.
Nature is the common factor among all the people on this planet, but we need to find ways to become native to the Earth again.
Through the program, I learned about visual psychology, composition, and among other things, how to communicate both visually and physically.
Through Gallery, I learned that anything is possible if you look hard enough and become decisive enough to travel out of our comfort zone. I learned then that I wanted to create: not just art for the sake of art, but to show to others that there are people in every bit of society that create the community in which they live.
Thanks so much, I submitted them just now.
:]