Hi everyone, this is my common app essay. The prompt I chose is :
Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
If anyone could review my grammar, relatedness to the prompt, title choice, bold/italic placements, or just any correction that'd be really great. Also, for a 650 words limit essay, is 424 a fine amount?
"You call that 'mature'?"
Again, I failed to hold back my tears from falling. My brain was trying so hard to form a sentence, but all I could think about wasI need a tissue. My nose was partially blocked from crying, and my breath was heavy and irregular. I glanced at my mom, trying to send her signals to defend me. I am mature! I thought. I knew I was mature enough to have my own iPhone, or to go to the movies with my friends. Or to decide that I did not want to spend my whole summer in this church program. Dad, I am a grown up now. Please let me make my own decisions-- and don't call me immature!
Maturity is a weird concept. What actually defines maturity? Is it when you can financially support yourself? Is it when you reach a certain age? Is it when you put other people before yourself? Well, when I first boarded on a flight without my parents, I thought, wow, I am an adult!
I grew up arguing with my dad a lot. He has this ability to turn small talks at the dining table into deep, meaningful life lessons. From small things like asking permission to hang out with friends to bigger ones such as college decisions, everything becomes an argument. In middle school, I would prefer to stay at home rather than going to the movies with my friends, because my dad would insist on accompanying me. Sleepovers or trips were nonexistent in my teenage years. Boyfriend? Forget about that. To say that he is overprotective would be a understatement. If I recall all these arguments, I always lose. Most of it ended with the exact scene I described before. Tears.
However, I discovered maturity through these series of arguments with my dad. He is difficult, but he has always had me on his shoulder, metaphorically and literally. Despite the challenging experiences, the tough love he has shown me all these years helped me broadened my self-awareness and perspectives. As soon as I grew older, I learned that the obstacles he intentionally gave me were meant to help me achieve better and higher. I learned to to listen when he speaks and to think before I speak. I learned to apologize. I learned to understand the reasons behind his reasonings. All these things which seemed so simple yet so hard to actually do. I stopped debating-I communicate.
Our last argument was last week. And for the first time, I won.
Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
If anyone could review my grammar, relatedness to the prompt, title choice, bold/italic placements, or just any correction that'd be really great. Also, for a 650 words limit essay, is 424 a fine amount?
YOU'RE SO IMMATURE
"You call that 'mature'?"
Again, I failed to hold back my tears from falling. My brain was trying so hard to form a sentence, but all I could think about wasI need a tissue. My nose was partially blocked from crying, and my breath was heavy and irregular. I glanced at my mom, trying to send her signals to defend me. I am mature! I thought. I knew I was mature enough to have my own iPhone, or to go to the movies with my friends. Or to decide that I did not want to spend my whole summer in this church program. Dad, I am a grown up now. Please let me make my own decisions-- and don't call me immature!
Maturity is a weird concept. What actually defines maturity? Is it when you can financially support yourself? Is it when you reach a certain age? Is it when you put other people before yourself? Well, when I first boarded on a flight without my parents, I thought, wow, I am an adult!
I grew up arguing with my dad a lot. He has this ability to turn small talks at the dining table into deep, meaningful life lessons. From small things like asking permission to hang out with friends to bigger ones such as college decisions, everything becomes an argument. In middle school, I would prefer to stay at home rather than going to the movies with my friends, because my dad would insist on accompanying me. Sleepovers or trips were nonexistent in my teenage years. Boyfriend? Forget about that. To say that he is overprotective would be a understatement. If I recall all these arguments, I always lose. Most of it ended with the exact scene I described before. Tears.
However, I discovered maturity through these series of arguments with my dad. He is difficult, but he has always had me on his shoulder, metaphorically and literally. Despite the challenging experiences, the tough love he has shown me all these years helped me broadened my self-awareness and perspectives. As soon as I grew older, I learned that the obstacles he intentionally gave me were meant to help me achieve better and higher. I learned to to listen when he speaks and to think before I speak. I learned to apologize. I learned to understand the reasons behind his reasonings. All these things which seemed so simple yet so hard to actually do. I stopped debating-I communicate.
Our last argument was last week. And for the first time, I won.
