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"immigration experience from China to America has influenced me" Princeton Supplement



KYUTYIS 2 / 2  
Sep 7, 2011   #1
I truly believe my immigration experience from China to America has a lifelong influence on me. It has broadened my horizon and greatly changed how I approach the world.

When I got off the plane and left San Francisco Airport, I, like a newborn baby, was curious about this new world and looked forward to discovering new things in all aspects of my life. I believed I would change a lot in this new country.

As I arrived in San Francisco on Christmas Day, I saw that a lot of people got together and enjoyed the fireworks at Embarcadero. They talked, sang, and laughed with each other until midnight. What a convivial atmosphere it was! This was my first time experiencing western festivals. After that, I became more willing to learn about western culture and history. I was glad to broaden my knowledge of western society and gradually accepted western culture. Right now, I enjoy celebrating festivals with my native friends.

In the first few weeks after moving to America, I usually spent a lot of time outdoors. I was pleased to find that the drivers were very polite and consciously obeyed traffic rules. When I got on a bus or a Muni, the driver often greeted me with good manners. In addition, when I crossed the streets, the drivers often let me go first though they were in a hurry. I saved plenty of time thanks to the smooth flow of traffic and felt much safer when I crossed the streets. In China, on the contrary, I suffered a lot from traffic jams because the self-serving drivers usually broke traffic rules for convenience and never gave way to pedestrians. After that, I changed myself. I would no longer run across the streets when the traffic light was green and always walked the zebra crossings. Also, I was inspired to become a moral and decent citizen and obey the laws because I realized our society would run more efficiently if everyone did so.

As time went by, I became more familiar with America. One day, on my way to San Francisco Public Library, I was surprised to see hundreds of people protest against state budget cuts near city hall. Some of them shouted loudly, requesting the government to spend more money on education and health care; the others held banners and walked around city hall. The roads were closed, and the police preserved the order. As I grew up in China, I had never seen people demonstrate in the streets. Although sometimes people might get together and try to express their opinion, the police always quickly dispersed the crowd. I thought critical thinking played an important role in America. As I knew, American people had their own ideas and felt free to express them. So this demonstration had a great impact on me. It not only gave me first-hand experience of democracy and freedom but also urged me to develop critical thinking. My thinking mode was completely changed. I thought independently and had my own ideas on world issues instead of just following other people. After watching the news that Chinese lawbreaking merchants added harmful chemicals to improve their products, I censured their behavior and bravely express my opinion on commercial morality; after knowing about Egyptian revolution, I was aware that Chinese people should also stand up and struggle for democracy.

I firmly believe my immigration to America has changed how I approach the world and shaped me into a culturally open-minded and law-abiding person with critical thinking. I think these changes will help me succeed in the future.

SlimCash - / 1  
Sep 8, 2011   #2
Your story is really inspiring how you immigrate from China to America. The way you narrate your story a picture is created at the back of my mind like a video is being played while reading. The story it's self tells us that although you grow up in China you were blind in one way or the other untill this day come when night become day, that's where you become a new creation. This whole thing actually change your behaviour and altitude, the way you used to do things and the way you used to handle them just change from that moment.
dreamingsnow 2 / 11  
Sep 8, 2011   #3
I think your essay topic is really interesting, and you do show the story instead of telling (which is always better). However, gramatically, I would alter your sentence structures more. A LOT of your sentences start with "I..."

Although the content is good, the repetition of starting with "I" drains the essay somewhat. If you could alter some sentences more to break up the "I"s, it would be a more interesting essay.

Great job!
OP KYUTYIS 2 / 2  
Sep 9, 2011   #4
English is my second language, and I speak it proficiently. Nevertheless, I don't think I can use it as flexibly as native people, especially high school students. You will always be better than me!


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