Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 3

The most important decision that I have ever made was to study in U.S as an international student.


Jackson94 1 / -  
Sep 25, 2012   #1
Please see my essay and let me know if something is wrong and grade me if possible :

Everyone has made a decision that has changed his or her life, and those decisions will always
swapped one's destiny in a way or another. Therefore, we try our best to be near enough of the
perfect choice. However, from time to time, it turned out to be a regretting decision. As for me, I
have also made some decisions since I' am no longer the immature high school boy. I have also
built up my self of confidence, and experience to face the most influential decision in my entire
life. The most important decision that I have ever made was to study in U.S as an international
student.
It happened, in the last summer, just two months ago. I chose it due to many reasons,
purely academic. In spite of my family being behind every decision, and success that I made, and
their generous support for years, it was time for me to face a totally individual challenge by
making this decision for real or not. I tried to assemble every expectation of how this plan could
be an accomplishment or a failure. Regarding the reasons, one of them was that it has been a
dream for me since childhood to study abroad especially in the United States. The other were the
opportunities that American universities can give me to improve my English, and applied
linguistics skills. Aside from all, some friends who have been in a similar situation as mine, and
took the same road have advised me to not make some mistakes like what they did, encouraged
me thanks to their flourishing careers in many majors, and inspired me of how life can change
for a better future.
After the process of my registration's application to Bunker Hill community college have been
done, I received my acceptance letter. Then, I applied for my Visa. Fortunately, I did well in the
interview with the consulate officer in the American embassy, and my Visa was approved.
From there on, the countdown from the departure to the U.S has started. The grand day is more
closer, and I'm eventually more excited, and scared at the same time. Finally, I am in the
airport, waiting for my flight. After a while, the plane ascended, and I'm between the clouds. At
that moment, I realize how I am very lucky to live this big adventure, and to get this chance that
a lot of my friends do not have. When it lands, and I become officially in the U.S, I already
missed my country. Anyhow, I always keep in mind that this is better for me.
For the fact of studying in a different country, I knew that I will have particular style of life than
what I used to in my home country which I consider a good advantage because I will learn
another culture rich in history, local traditions, and costumes unlike my compeers in Morocco.
Furthermore, pursuing my undergraduate program in a higher level of education parallel to the
American system will enrich my knowledge. Especially for computer science whereas colleges
in U.S. are in the front of technology, techniques, and in making the best possible equipment,
and resources available to their students. I also may have the opportunity to gain valuable
experience through research that are no available in Morocco. Another point is that American
institutions are recognized worldwide . As a result, I will, absolutely, have more chances to get a
good job in any part of the world after I finish my education here. Is it also known that many
international students get very good jobs in their home country when they go back, have been
paid higher salaries, offered better perks, and have better opportunities for professional growth as
compared to others who have similar education but from colleges in their home country.
In the other hand, the sacrifices may be hard because when it comes to the consequences, there
are plenty of them.
Going out from my country, and live in another one, without my parents, is a
big step. I had to suit myself into a new environment, which is a very difficult thing to do. And
also, I have to say adieu to my parents, friends, and teachers who were with me in all times,
good, and hard ones. I have to admit that if things didn't go well as I expected, and I messed up,
in this case, I would return to my home country and continue my life like nothing happened. I
would say that, at least, I tried, and I wouldn't regret that I haven't made the decision. Anyhow,
it would be a real disaster because my family spent money and time to afford me the best
conditions to achieve my goals; but most, will be that big disappointment stacked in my head for
my whole life.
If you ask me to make the decision once again, I will definitely remain the same decision,
because I am happy, and glad with my present conditions. I'm looking forward to transfer to a
better college to get my bachelor as soon as possible. I made a lot of friends, and my family,
here, is helping me so much. Even though, I really miss my parents in Morocco. I hope they
come someday to visit me, and this wonderful country.

missjulie 1 / 1  
Oct 5, 2012   #2
"Everyone has made a decision that has changed his or her life, and those decisions will always swapped one's destiny in a way or another."

- Use the word 'sway ' instead of 'swapped'.
- "in one way or another" instead of 'a way '

"Therefore, we try our best to be near enough of the perfect choice."
- Not sure what you mean here. I don't think 'near' is the right word choice.

"However, from time to time, it turned out to be a regretting decision "
- ... it turns out to be a decision one regrets .

"As for me, I have also made some decisions since I' am no longer the immature high school boy. "
- Take this sentence out completely.

"I have also built up my self of confidence, and experience to face the most influential decision in my entire life.
- Take out the word 'also '.
- "and experience in order to face..."
- "of my entire life" use the word 'of' instead of "in "

"The most important decision that I have ever made was to study in U.S as an international student."
-"study in the United States ..."

I'll get back to you soon with the rest of my suggested edits for your essay. Good job on the essay as a whole.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Oct 5, 2012   #3
Therefore, we try our best to be near enough ofto the perfect choice.

"Therefore, we try our best to be near enough of the perfect choice."
- Not sure what you mean here. I don't think 'near' is the right word choice.

I think missjulie has a point. I guess what you intend to say is that everybody expects their decisions to be the right ones that help them achieve their goals in life.... However, that sentence does not convey a clear picture of your idea to the reader.


Home / Undergraduate / The most important decision that I have ever made was to study in U.S as an international student.