Independent Study Experience - Prompt 2 UC Personal Statement

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?

I have been an Independent Study student for the entirety of my high school career. I was skeptical about it at first, I did not think that it would measure up to the traditional high school experience. However, I has turned out to be a defining experience for me. As expected, IS has helped me become more independent, but it has been beneficial in other ways also.

I have always excelled in school. However, when I entered Independent Study and started to struggle, I found a great flaw: I lacked the ability to be truly self-sufficient. I depended too much on the leadership of my teachers to stay on track. I found that in some ways, my traditional school experience handicapped me.

Independent Study challenged me in ways that I had not been challenged before. I still had teachers, but independent study calls for independent students. I was obligated to keep track of my own schedule. Task prioritization and time management took the front seat in my life.

Though I could have went back to regular school, I decided not to. IS gave me the opportunity to graduate early. Staying in high school a year longer did not seem logical to me, even with the extracurricular opportunities. Besides, Independent Study gave me the time to take some college courses. In being an IS student, I learned the importance of time and going back to regular school seemed like a waste of it.

All in all, both the experiences of traditional school and IS made me the best student that I can be. I am more independent, better at time management, and have college credit because of IS. I do not believe that my being in Independent Study has deprived me of any skills that I need to be successful in college. If anything, I am a much better student because of this experience.

Please give me your honest opinions. If anything can be cut out completely, then tell me. I'm 31 words over my word count limit. Thanks :)

Some minor feedback: is there a specific organization that was in charge of your independent study? This might help personalize your experience? You have independent study capitalized and I was thinking it probably should not be capitalized. Also, your compelling point is that IS changed your mindset and made you into the individual you are? I would try a small anecodote or something along those lines to include. I understand you're using the second prompt with less words, so if you can't that's understandable.

I found a great flaw: (I think it needs a semi-colon) I lacked the ability to be truly self-sufficient

Hopefully some of this helps! Good luck!

jrecarpenter

No, there wasn't a specific organization in charge of my independent study. IS is an alternative offered at my high school. So, I don't know if that should be added into the actual essay, because the schools can see from my transcripts what school I went to.

I think that you are right about the anecdote. I could definitely find a way to add one in.

Thank you so much!

You write very well. I had to stare at this for a long time to figure out what seemed to be missing...

It is a lack of description. Google "imagery word" and use some, along with action verbs to describe your IS. Just invest a sentence or two so that the reader can know precisely what IS is to you. That will make the whole thing more meaningful.

Though I could have went gone back to regular...

I have always excelled in school. However, when I entered Independent Study and started to struggle, I found a great flaw: I lacked the....gave me the time to take some college courses. In being an IS student, I learned the importance of time and going back to regular school seemed like a waste of it.----I counted 3 or 4 excellent ideas you expressed in these paragraphs, but I think they can be expressed in 50% of the words. You can identify the ideas expressed here and challenge yourself to express them all in a single, punchy paragraph... a paragraph chock full of meaning.

:-)

I think that you have to replace the second "experience"))